This is weird for me because I’ve never done anything like this, but this seems like the only thing I have to run to. I want to kill myself, plain and simple. I’m tired of living. I feel worthless and like a waste of space. I hate everything about me. I’m a selfish person and I only care about myself. I hurt everyone around me with my unhappiness. I’m seeing a therapist for anxiety but it doesn’t seem like its working because the pain always come back. I’m so sick of feeling dead inside. Everyday I think of suicide but I don’t have the guts. […]
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Weird
Ive actually forgotten how to be happy, how to actually smile and mean it instead of pretending i mean it, I’m so used to pretending im happy that i dont actually no how to anymore 🙁
I try and do the things that i love doing, talking to people who i love talking to but nothing seems to work, i just dont no how to be happy anymore, if im ever happy i literally lasts for about 5mins and then its like im back to reality again! Today i went to see my nan and there was loads of trouble down there and today i realized […]
Hi
This is my 3rd time posting on this website, i guess it’s because i have no one else. I am getting more and more depressed every day and don’t no what to do.I was thinking of taking an overdose when i looked up consequences of an overdose and it said brain damage and that put me off that idea.
I have being depressed for nearly two years now and i guess things are getting worse and worse lately. i think it was my friends that kept me on the right path, but now i’m no longer friends with them. i suppose i have […]
Its weird how I check into this thing alot now throughout the day. I’m curious to see if other people are out there who feel even a fraction of what I feel.
Today was a very bad day. Its funny when you close your eyes at night thinking  tomorrow will be better, today was the worst it could get. But that wasn’t the case. To end of the horrible day, another Utopian moment happened. Followed by alot of sweet bbm’s and constant pings when a response wasnt received right away. However those are just more moments. False promises made in a moment never mean anything real. Chances are it was forgotten […]
I am doing this because there is a small part of me that doesn’t want to die. The rest of me is sure that this gun sitting in my lap is the answer for all my problems. Being born from day one with a debilitatingmedical condition is one thing but it time and time again hurting me holding me back, making me lame and weird growing up and a psycho into adult-hood is about all I can take. After finding my insurance canceled me as a client and won’t re-consider the same week I find out I am going to need surgery is the last […]
Listening to the music that I did when I cut, is like revisiting a dream you haven’t dreamnt. It seems so familiar, yet you aren’t sure it even happened becuz, well for whatever reason.
Clothes is the same thing.
And remembering cutting, is just so weird.
Its like someone was filming me but through my eyes, and I watch that movie. Not remember the memorie.
Anything cutting or depression related is like that.
It`s 2:00 in the morning and I found this website by typing `my life is meaningless` in the google search engine. Maybe I should type a little about myself; I don`t know how this site works exactly. I`m going to turn 20 in the summer. I dropped out of university a little while ago, but that`s okay because there were so many things wrong with going in the first place. I went across the country a little while after that, worked a couple jobs and now here I am, back in my parents basement. I ticked the box `general`but maybe I`ll tick `rants` as well. […]
Okay, y’all, important safety tip. If the psychiatrist gives you a prescription for ant-depressants, you don’t let them write it with ZERO REFILLS. And certainly take some care to ensure you don’t run out of a Friday night so you have to wait FOUR DAYS for your pharmacist to get said psychiatrist’s approval.
I’m just sayin’. Seriously, I could actually hear my eyeballs moving. Do you know just how weird that is?!?
And certainly don’t make me wait two weeks to see my new therapist one-on-one. Insurance won’t cover another week of IOP? Put it on my tab, that’s what HSA is for.
Yeah. Not a good day. […]
For me memories are like ghosts that haunt the perimeters of my conscious mind, often making me feel ill at ease when I don’t even know why. The more upsetting memories are like demons that torment me from the depths of my unconscious mind, bringing up flashes of painful experiences when I’m least prepared for it and my defences are down. Both want to fill me with self doubt and self hatred and sap every ounce of confidence I once might have had, to leave me an utterly shattered and blithering wreck in the shambles that my life has become. And yet the more I […]
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