Right now all I want is to be held, and told that I’m ok. I’m not ok. It doesn’t feel like I ever will be. Maybe at some distant point down the road, I’ll find that I’ve somehow become worthy of love, and worthy of life. But right now I am alone. I see no way through. Why go on, when you don’t really believe the destination exists? Because the hope of it is all you have left.
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why go on
I have had the worse five months of my life; anxiety, bdd, everything has destroyed me and who I am. I look fucking 10 years older. I think it is time for me to go; the only comfortable thought I have: Suicide.
Why go on living ?
I’m done feeling the pain I feel. Let this be read by some who may care. This is final as I’m slipping into death now. The pills are overtaking me I can barely type so I’m stopping.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHqo2FDJSU0I feel like nothing is going anywhere… nothing is getting any better. A year ago I moved to my father’s to finally get away from my mother, sister, and my mother’s boyfriend, because they were pushing me to the edge. They’ve always been “there” for me, at things like competitions for band, and driving me to school events… but that is pretty much where it ends.
My mother loves me, and I hate seeing her upset, but when my sister is around, there is always a pointless fight started by her, and I get to the point of just wanting to jump off the […]