I cant breath I cry and I am facing a pillow I ralize I cant breath and I am holding my breath half of my mind is telling me its okay and my body is screaming WHAT ARE U DOING START BREATHINGSTOP BEING STUPID AND IS CUSSING I looked info on suicide and how people act I noticed I am like that ii cry and say how did I get here and I realize my mom is a drunk and druggie she dint even care enough when I was in her stomach to not do drugs not me or my lil sist. but my […]
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Wich
I personally have allways been in “the middle”. as the second of three child in my family makes me the middle child. i’m not thin, but i’m not fat. i’m middle. every thing i do i end up in the middle. always. it is living hell. for example, this xmas, while my brother and sister got their own iphone’s which the had wish for, i got nothing i had wish for. i got a pc. im not saying that they don’t give stuff. and that their beeing total crap. it is the fact that they dont listen to me. never. even when we’re planning dinner […]
Well it’s been a while that I came to this site. I don’t know if anybody missed me, my existence doesn’t really matter at this point anyway. I’m just a shell moving by the habits that have been inprinted in it.
It has been a month since I moved in Ontario. Following this lofty scenario where I deluded myself with naive idea that my life would get better, that “grass is alway greener on the other side”. Well I don’t see any more colors here either. It just came to me today that I have been eating only one “meal” of junkfood a day since three […]
Life was hard growing up. When I was a child I was surrounded by drugs, nasty men, abuse, rape etc.
My mom was not like the moms you see on TV, she had supported my brother and I by stripping, she also sold and was addicted to drugs. She was clinically diagnosed as being bipolar, and schizophrenic.. She always put drugs above me and my brother. most of the time my Nana would take care of me but only when she wasn’t working. My mom, the main person who was supposed to be my protector let numerous men in and out of our lives. The last […]
its wierd how even though you may not always remember something, your mind never forgets what happened for the rest of your life,i know thats why i wake up at the same time every morning, wen i even can sleep,people tell you to move on and forget about what happened,ok, just let me slam my head against the cement and get amnesia,if its that bad that i can forget time to time but my mind alawys remembers, and noone ever tried to help me through the trama,then those people can eat shit and die,i was woken up around the same time in the morning every […]