Tag:

work

Cutting – Started and Can’t Stop – Advice?

by AmIStuckNow 10/21/2014

written by AmIStuckNow

Despite feeling helpless and suicidal through the later part of middle school and all of high school and college, I had never cut myself. I had never really felt the desire to.

But now, things are different. About 2 months ago I was very depressed and I tried cutting my upper arm and my legs. I wasn’t very good at it, so little blood came out. The marks went away about a month later.

But since then I’ve cut 3 more times. The 3rd time I cut, I cut my stomach and my lower leg. I work at home now, using my computer for 95% of my […]

10/21/2014 10 comments

Tonight?

by JustLauren 10/21/2014

written by JustLauren

Hello SP,

Well…I thought someone should know. Maybe that way, someone could care. Perhaps.

I had planned my suicide for the end of November, but current circumstances has bumped the date up to tonight. The plan is to overdose. Now in case this doesn’t work out, I have a school paper I have to finish and email to my professor so if I do fail, I don’t screw up the rest of my life (such as school). But I can only hope that this works. I took off of work tomorrow morning so that, in case I fail, I don’t have to come in. I’ll be too […]

10/21/2014 6 comments

At one time

by nozmoking 10/17/2014

written by nozmoking

Music flowed from my hands
at one time
but no more

Love poured from my soul
at one time
but no more

Sunshine, warm and healing flooded my window
at one time
but no more

Someone delighted in my touch
at one time
but no more

I was paid fairly and respected at work
at one time
but no more

I could chase seagulls and climb sand dunes
at one time
but no more

I could follow my dreams
at one time
but no more

I had something to give to my fellow man
at one time
but no more

My life was an adventure, not a nightmare
at one time
but no […]

10/17/2014 2 comments

I just don’t deserve to be happy

by mia87 10/16/2014

written by mia87

I don’t deserve to be happy, because I don’t have enough experience to connect with others in proper way, without neurotic symptoms. I have lived in my own world too long. I thought I have managed it because I have found friends on college, and had very strong relationship with my boyfriend for 6 years. But I was breaking the rules: I used to push my boundaries, I’ve used magical thinking when I didn’t have time or intelligence to do things right (like I’ll be funny girl, although I used to isolate myself in school, I’ll be good student although I was losing all my […]

10/16/2014 3 comments

Still Can’t Get Ahead

by EvilKitten 10/15/2014

written by EvilKitten

No matter how hard I try, and no matter that some things go right, I can’t get ahead in this life.

So, just lost my place to live Sunday night, staying with my brothers ex for as short a time as possible, we get along ok, but she just hates people in her living space, and I can totally respect that.

Still have my job, and work my ass off when I’m there. Pay is crap, and we’re now cutting hours. Since I started about 4 weeks ago, I was getting an average of 30 hours a week, which was just enough to cover my bills, keep […]

10/15/2014 13 comments

Oddly Enough Still Alive

by hufflesigh 10/13/2014

written by hufflesigh

Short one.

About 4 days ago I ate 20 castor seeds. I kept them down for about an hour to two hours so they should have been fully dissolved. I peuked and had bad diarreah for about a day then the throwing up went away. The liquid poops I still have. And I havent had a solid one since. I know that its supposed to take a few days but it seems like its not going to work. Any body have any experience trying with ricin/castor seeds?

The stomach doesnt dissolve it as were in another form. We dont have to go into that though because of […]

10/13/2014 1 comment

The hardest year

by peaceinthedark 10/11/2014

written by peaceinthedark

This has been the hardest year of my life. To say things have gone south is an understatement. Some good things have happened but the bad far outweighs it. I attempted to commit suicide unsuccessfully earlier this year. Ever since then I’ve had off and on thoughts about attempting it again. The biggest thing that has stopped me is my kids and the thought of who would find my body. The first time was a cry for help. I didn’t succeed because I was sloppy about it. This week though all the feelings have come rushing back. I can’t stop thinking about the fact that […]

10/11/2014 2 comments

I need a hug from the Universe

by EvilKitten 10/10/2014

written by EvilKitten

So, life has been shit. And apparently, even though I’m working my ass off at my job 5 days a week, short shifts of 6 hours a day, and looking for another job on top of this one, the universe has decided to piss all over me, still.

When will it end?

November 2013: my husband passed away. To this point I was a housewife. Inherited $25,000 of debt.

November-January: Slip $5-6000 more into debt due to final expenses, bills, etc. New debt total: ~$30,000

January 2014: facing homelessness, dad and step mother take me in with multitudes of “conditions”

January-March: Broke beyond belief, being treated like a slave in […]

10/10/2014 25 comments

Finally out of my depression,encouraging story

by andartarius 10/10/2014

written by andartarius

I think sometimes in life you take the path that seems the most daring and obvious to you, but sometimes that path isnt the right one. For me it was the art path, since i was 16 i dreamed of being a great artist someday, i worked my ass off for years, putting aside friends,health and everything else, because everyone knows usually if you want to succeed and have a living in art you either need incredible luck or work your ass off everyday. Well i chose not to rely on luck and work my ass off, and even then, it wasnt enough. After almost […]

10/10/2014 1 comment

I’m Suicidal Again

by TwistedSpace 10/9/2014

written by TwistedSpace

Yep. There was a chance for me in April where I could have died from cyanide poisoning. As painful as that would have been, I’d be dead right now. My suffering would have ended there. I hate myself for not doing it, for not taking the chance I had.

I thought I could make a life for myself, for my Grandmother’s sake at the very least, but things have gotten worse since then. I’m making excuses, whatever. I want out right now. I’m going to try again tonight. It should work if I’m serious enough.

In case it does work; I bid thee farewell.

10/9/2014 18 comments

Preparations are in order

by JustLauren 10/8/2014

written by JustLauren

I think I’ve finally got my plans in order.I have Thanksgiving break off of college. Thursday, Thanksgiving, I have to work for Job #1. I’m supposed to work all that week for job #2. But my plan is to take family medical leave for Job #2, meaning I only have to work Thanksgiving. The rest of break I can ask of from Job #1 no problem. That means I have between Friday and Sunday to do it. Hopefully Friday because if I fail, I’ll be groggy and unable to function for a couple days. But I hope I don’t fail.

My only regret is that it’s […]

10/8/2014 9 comments

living is so overrated

by vings 10/8/2014

written by vings

I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up, or get cancer and die. I don’t know why I feel this way almost all the time.

it seems to me that living is so much work and effort and it is just not worth it.

10/8/2014 8 comments

work

by jellybeanz28 10/7/2014

written by jellybeanz28

It has been hard to go to work the last couple weeks. I love my job and am good at it….it is just in the psychiatric hospital and I wonder sometimes if I should be the one in the padded room instead. Oh my life is so contradictory.

10/7/2014 2 comments

hello

by toodepressedtothink 10/5/2014

written by toodepressedtothink

I hate attention so dont think im asking it with my posts. Im new, and not sure how to work this yet. So want to know me if you care?

Im deeply depressed, and only recently found out how bad it was.

Ive never told anyone I know about it.

Nobody at school knows.

Im 14.

Im a girl named randi-leigh.

I hate my name.

Im a “fake smiler”

I like imagine dragons

I cry a lot

My parents are divorced

I hate my body

I guess I have more problems then depression

I wish I coukd be dead.

10/5/2014 3 comments

What’s the point?

by jrd79808 10/4/2014

written by jrd79808

This is my first time posting on this site. I just want to share why I’m considering ending my life.

I’m a 19 year old male from Hawaii.

I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible.

When I was a child, I was coerced into sexual acts by both a cousin and a “friend” (at different times in my life).

At age 13, I was diagnosed with a medical condition known as Marfan Syndrome and was told that people with this disorder don’t live very long. All throughout middle and high school, I was teased because of this condition.

I spiraled into a deep depression, and my grades started […]

10/4/2014 10 comments

My love story

by EvilKitten 10/1/2014

written by EvilKitten

Many of you know the basics of my story. This is the whole story, from when I met my soulmate, to when I lost him. I figured it was time to share the details. I apologize for the length of this post, but appreciate those who take the time to read all the way through to the end. If you make it all the way to the end, there’s a special treat.

We weren’t supposed to be separated. We were meant to find each other. We lived on opposite sides of the country, and through unlikely circumstances, we met when I went to Ohio for school. […]

10/1/2014 11 comments

just dont know what to do anymore

by hannahx 10/1/2014

written by hannahx

i dont knkw what it is, from the age of 12 my whole life changed ive never liked myself. i have just split up with my boyfriend today. we was together for 2 years, wenr through alot together he made me feel wanted and loved, made me feel like there was actually good things to me. i thought everything was fine, we talked about having a baby, getting married how much we loved each other. we went on a mini break to devon to just be together without any one else, without work just to spend time together. i was happy.. he told me today […]

10/1/2014 1 comment

Unspeakably Saddened, Broken

by marie2244 10/1/2014

written by marie2244

I am at this very moment, suicidal. I have no real support and have found myself here, with all of you. My husband, whom I love more than almost anything has just said to me that he has met someone online while out of town for work, and that he doesn’t want me anymore. This isn’t the first time he’s said he doesn’t want me anymore. Over the last six years, he has put me down, left me, hurt me and destroyed my being. I can honestly tell you in this moment that if I didn’t have children, I wouldn’t be here writing, I’d be […]

10/1/2014 8 comments

Useless to anyone

by Visual 9/23/2014

written by Visual

I don’t know where to go with this. I don’t even know that the details are worth it. Especially the past year, every time I make a little progress – work, finances, friendships – that and more are ripped from me.

What the fuck did I do that I’m always being punished? What I did – as though I had control over it – was that I was born. I survived physical, verbal, emotional and sexual abuse. I’ve survived HIV. I’ve survived losing everything including my home just over a decade ago. And it’s really time to end this nonsense. I’ve known for a while how […]

9/23/2014 7 comments

i’m just so tired

by Who 9/23/2014

written by Who

i’ve wanted to be an artist since i was 14. make animations, draw comics, create illustrations, whatever, my mind has been set on that goal from the moment i realized that that’s what i wanted to do for the rest of my life.

the problem is, my art sucks.

at first that didn’t bother me much. i mean, i just started, of course i suck. i’m still young, i’ll get better, i just have to keep practicing.

and for 2 or 3 years, that’s what i did. i looked for resources online, asked my parents to put me in an art course, started keeping a sketchbook. really wanted to get […]

9/23/2014 4 comments

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