I was just going over some old stories I wrote (or wrote most of, at least) and I can’t figure out what changed. I used to be able to sit down and write a story that, I was told, was well written and intriguing. I don’t know what changed, but I can’t even sit down to write the final three chapters of a book I know the ending to. Well, it’s technically a graphic novel, one of two that I almost finished, and only because they were my only fantasy stories and sometimes painting the world works better than trying to describe it with words. […]
Tag:
write
I have suffered with depression and suicidal feelings for as long as I can remember, but something has always held me back when it comes to ending my life.
I have made several attempts, but have failed so far.
I can’t be bothered to write about what has happened to me, because I have tried every form of therapy there is and it doesn’t work and I have never really felt any other way.
I’m just fed up with the lack of understanding, the patronising advice given by therapists and family and the accusations of self-pity or attention seeking with regards to suicide.
I don’t feel sorry for myself, […]
Today is my last day and it seems surreal.
Today I am going to go to the family cookout and later watch the fireworks . Not sure if I will sleep tonight or just stay up. Tomorrow I will get up early and drive to where I can see the sunrise. I have some nice soft music I am going to listen to while I watch it. Then when the sun is half way over the horizon, I will end this pain.
My note:
I was going to write a nice long note or even a poem but then thought, why. Everyone knows that I loved them and […]
I have so much to say it would take a lifetime to write down. Mind if I just write my thoughts here? I’m thinking of writing a book about my life. All the pain, hate, anger, love, loss and epiphanies all in one jumbled mess like it is in my brain….right here. I’ve had enough ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy) for it to be so. Any doctor who tells you there are no side effects from ECT is lying. My life is a blur, but the horrible memories I can remember easily. Strong, strong memories. I just need to get my thoughts down.
Anyone here have to plan […]
i write the moon for you
the sad silver part
you thought would never shine
for you
i write the waves for you, soft currents
i know your pain is so immense
the moments they rejected you
let the waves wash healing waters
over all of you
let the moon cast away the darkness
with its silver beauty
forked tongue not of death but licking you clean
let the honey wash and heal you
i know this road is bitter
trust me, my darling
and some day let every word you could never utter
be spoken
like beauty
pearled
I was gonna write a post that explained all the different shit I’ve had to deal with in my life…
….but i think I’ll just sit here and twiddle my thumbs instead!
*twiddle twiddle*
fuck, i don’t know where to write. This is the only place i felt safe to write something down and make it public. I am sorry, I am not suicidal anymore. Life is way more sucky this way. I can’t let myself even fantasize about killing myself because now I am a bitter grown up person who is not selfish enough to allow myself those fantasies. But I am selfish. And my lazy, depressive and lost existence makes life difficult for people around me, just less difficult than it would be if I killed myself. So I am that much less selfish.
Some days are so […]
Hi
I wrote a poem to my mother and I will give it to her 31 may on mother’s day.
I’m planning to suicide the next day. I have waited to suicide just because i wanted to be there for my mom on mothers day. It will be the last time.
I just want to know what you think of the poem. Any improvements? There’s a hidden message as you can see. I hope she wont be suspicious? She doesnt know im suicidal.
This will be the last thing i do before I die so no suicide letter. If you wonder why it’s because if I fail I don’t […]
I am so sorry. I know I should not have done it, but I couldn’t live like this anymore. It’s nothing anybody did. It’s all my fault. I love you guys, I love everyone in my life, but the pain I’ve been going through is just to much and I can’t picture myself ever getting better or happy again. Thank you for everything you have done. It really did stick and it did mean something. I just can’t continue on living the way I was feeling. I love you all so much and I am so sorry, I really am. I have to do this, It’s […]
I’ll follow the trace of your breath’s exhale
down a river of gold with a shattered glass sail
I’ll visit lands of sapphires and lustrous ebony
to find the taste of ambrosia equal to your beauty
I’ll write poems with glass, in words melted with sun
and sing ballads of skies for the most beautiful one
your tears are the straw I will spin into stars
to become iridescent and celestial martyrs
blessed by the presence of a prophesied king
I’ll put perennial wax on your magnificent wings
let me embellish your body with invaluable jewels
to demonstrate my undying love for you
you’re a shimmering blaze of […]
I tell you i’m serious. Over and over I tell you i’m serious. I tell you if you’re not serious then get the fuck away from me. I tell you to fucking be serious. Every comment you’ve posted affirms my view of this world because i told you to stop and you wouldn’t and could not stop because you love what you do. you characterize me when i explicitly and obviously tell you otherwise. you diminish every single one of my words. you deliberately write comments that sound unfazed and uncaring and smug. you need to go away. you need to stop typing because you […]
It’s just… quite tasty.
It’s 12:57am and depression just hit me again. I just wanted to write here cause i have no one to talk to. I just want to feel okay. Im glad I found this site, this is my second post. This is where i let it all out, write what i feel, but there is still something i cant express. So im trying to write more. I dont know if someone cares, but i do this to help myself.
I was at the mall with my boyfriend this afternoon. I was happy that time. I couldnt ask for more. But i’ve just found out that his ex […]
What if I did it. Right now. It would be so fucking easy. Nothing eloquent this time, just a myriad of pain and an option out tonight. Why can’t I be the one this time. I will write my own ended for a story that was never my own.
Hi.is anyone here interested in writing stories for short films?.i’ve been trying to write some on my own but i couldn’t.i just write stories abstractly then i’ll abandon that story in the middle.i think i can do better if i have a partner…so if anyone’s interested then, here is my mail…blogchs@gmail.com…!
https://soundcloud.com/musikchoice027/jose-gonzalez-stay-alive
I can’t even muster up the will to write more than a few lines. It hurts and I want it to stop
Why does it hurt so much
Why does everyone hate me
I figured I’d see if there were 101 reasons why we’re no longer friends, trying to counter the other post. Psychiatrist says I need a more balanced view of things, so here goes…
1) Me
2) Physically we’re so different.
3) You said you could never be friends with someone as vile as me. Why did I ever forgive that?
4) You are so comfortable with who you are…
5)… I will never be comfortable with who/ what I am.
6) We argued so much.
7) We’re both childish, me more so.
8) I was in a horrible place in my life when we first met.
9) You remind me too much of him.
10) […]
We no longer need a select group to rule for us; this is because we have have made advanced progress in technology which enables us to communicate at a much quicker progress then before. In a mere few minutes we can compile votes and have the results at the same time which before would took days if not weeks to tally otherwise.
We can ask more complicated questions of the WORLD, COUNTRY and locally and have the answer almost straight away; this all is available RIGHT NOW.
————-
Does anyone agree with this?
My life feels like a story, but i havent gotten my happy ending yet so far things have being going wrong for me. I’ve always wanted to write a book about my life, but i dont know where to start. You think you guys can help me out? I think it would help me get things off my mind by not hurting myself. I think it would be better to write about my life then hurt it. Anyways just let me know if you want to help me out
My mother is literally a few paces away. If I went and told her right now that I am planning to kill myself, she will take me to a mental hospital. I could tell her.
But I won’t.
I have letters to write and grades to make. It’s not time yet. I’ll hold on a little bit longer. I have to follow my plan.