I just realized I haven’t cried in a very very long time. Even though I feel like I want to sometimes, I just don’t have the energy. Too tired to cry, to tired to care, to tired to change.
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The last time I cried was February 6, thanks to one of my girl mates. Sure, we were both pretty hammered at the time and she chose an especially curious time to give me a call, but the way she was telling me about her life just got to me and suddenly we were both sobbing over the phone. I wasn’t too tired to cry (just extremely emotionally charged), I’m never too tired to care (that goes for most folks I know, unless I’m like zombie mode) but I am fatigued from constantly trying to change to something or someone better.
I dunno. I’m just another weary traveller on the path to the light.
Sometimes i wonder if people start learning and changing just because life gets them so tired that they just give up trying to do so. Seems like part of the process of getting old (which i really don’t like).
I was once in pain and too numbed by pain to cry. I rarely cry now because I’m on Lexapro. But when something touches my heart, I get chill bumps. When something touches my heart deeply, the tears flow, but I rarely sob.