you know what is SO fucked up? is that after someone commits suicide EVERYONE around the person is saying things like “oh she was such a great person” and “if she had only called i would have been there to listen, to help” but you know what? it’s fucking bullshit. i did what a suicide support website said – i reached out, far, on a limb and i thought hard of the smartest people i know, the people who have provided guidance and direction in the past. i decided to reach out to my aunt who i haven’t spoken to in over 10 years. i was feeling sentimental in a weak moment, remembering the dinners together we used to enjoy, the trips we took, the secrets we shared. i thought of my little nieces and how said i’d feel if they didn’t want to talk to me when they grew up. so i reached out, hesitantly, and asked to speak to her – through another aunt. you know what she came back saying?
“Why?”
Really, why? Why? How about we’re fucking family you stupid *****. How about you treated me like shit and you fucking owe me. Why? Go fuck yourself.
I love apologizing for doing something positive. So i apologized for reaching out and asking for support. I said it was a mistake I wouldn’t make again. And I thanked her for making it clear to me to know who you can lean on in life.
FUCK Y OU, you piece of shit abusive, cold, heartless aunts. Drop Dead, and know I won’t be at your funeral. You fucking *****.
5 comments
I don’t konw if i completely understand you or not but as a person going through quite the same i just wanted to tell you that don’t look upto others. Be it your own family they won’t understand you. See i have a family, my mom, dad and an elder brother. When i am shut inside my room writing suicidal feelings here, my parents don’t have the slightest idea that i am broken. No one in the world will put themselves in your shoes and feel the same for you. So i wanna suggest you to be stronger all by yourself. The world around is just there to give fake sympathies.
This is exactly how I feel about my fucking useless family. EVERYONE says “oh you should talk to someone about it” and then when your struggling to push away the suicidal thoughts at 2am, suddenly you are a burden. Don’t even think about the system, all you get is some fucking condescending ***** that is trying real hard not to blurt out how much she hates her job.
Sometimes I think of killing myself just as a fuck you to society. Fuck you society you fucking let me down!
Thanks for the post, its nice to see I’m not the only one..
I give you props for reaching out at least a and trying to talk to them, that took balls. I’m always thinking about my aunts, uncles and cousins that I haven’t spoken to in yearsssss. It really hurts that they probably don’t like me because my mom has some deep rooted issues with them and the constant fighting which lead her to stop contact and I followed because I had to. So I haven’t spoken to them just to make my mom happy. I’m scared shitless of ever trying to contact them again. I did once seven years ago. I asked my cousin if she wanted to hangout via email and she replied with…I’m trying to lose weight so I can’t. I knew what it meant. “Sorry, I’d rather not hangout with you” ouch!!! That hurt. I just accept the fact that they probably don’t want to talk to me anymore. I miss those assholes though. Lol I can understand the hurt and pain you’re feeling and I’m sorry. hugs*
I’ve experienced the same, and its even worse when you try to tell your BEST friend because they ASK whats wrong and beg you to tell them because they want to help and all of a sudden they cant and its not their problem. Reaching out is totally bull if you have shitty family members and friends. My mom tells me all the time to stop being sad or being lazy or feeling sorry for myself and then has the audacity to tell me she knows how it feels to be depressed and that “we’ve all been there but you just need to suck it up”