I had a mental breakdown last week and added 10x more scars to my body than there needs to be… I am a pessimist but also an optimist in training. But right now i feel like all the bottles in the world of prescription Prozac and Ativan couldnt fix me, i feel broken and lost like the lost things that end up in neverland. I hate these feelings they drive me insane and one day im scared that i might just be. I am only 19 years old but have suffered from depression since grade.9 and anxiety since grade.10, despite being in my 2nd year of college i honestly dont know how ive done it. Since i wake up like a automated robot every day and when night falls i wonder where my whole day went, what i did and why it seems so irrelevant to me. I am only 19 years old but i feel like i am slowly dying each day… please tell me i am not going crazy
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I assume you get your meds from a shrink, but is there a counselor that you can talk to if not once a week at least twice a month? Pills can only do so much. I’d suggest cognitive behavioral therapy because it focuses on changing behaviors and impulses that lead us to our depressed state and replacing them with “healthy” behaviors. So instead of pulling out the ol razor blade when you’re upset you train yourself to pull out the ol sketchpad and draw away or journal (just an example, I’m sure the therapist will have way better alternatives) It didn’t work for me because I’m fucking failure and I can never commit to anything… but if you really commit to cognitive behavioral therapy, it really can help a lot. It’s worth a try, right?