of my 31 years on this earth, I had brief moments of happiness as a small child but never lasted due to my chaotic family situation. Maybe an average of just alittle under a month a year. After that – May 1995, July 1995, March-May 1998, March-May 1999, April-October 2002, September-December 2006 and November-December 2011. I’m not even sure if I was truly happy than ether because my life has been so miserable I can’t tell the difference sometimes. Those dates I pointed out were more or less when my life was not a living hell.
how about yall?
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Hmmmm,thats a tough one, wndoz8er.Ok,my happiness in life can be divided into 3 phases as follows,
Phase 1:1992-2000: happy.
Phase 2:2000-2005:happiness decreasing sadness increasing.
Phase 3:2005-2011:complete absence of happiness,saturated with sadness.
Phase 5:2011-2015:Sadness leaves,enters Depression.
Phase 6:2015-DEATH:Depressed to death,literally drunk all the time,zero social interactions,self harm etc.I think you r getting the picture.
I had some fun when I was homeless as a teenager, circa 1995-1998. There were hard times but it was a lot of sex, drugs and rock & roll
And I’ve had a few good moments recently, in the last few months. The first two movies & dinners I took him out to, and the best night when he stayed over the last night in my last apartment, having him by my side and just talking and laughing. That’s the only happiness I’ll ever know.
There hasn’t been any periods where I was happy in my life, only some days, which are very few. Last time I was happy was a couple years ago
I guess I’ll have to wait to get “happy” at 1 tomorrow when I get my fucking alcohol that my aunt won’t let me have until then. Tried making deals to get it tonight so I can have it when I wake up. Nope nope. Fucking blue laws won’t let stores sale beer until 1.
I feel like ranting, I been so depressed sober that the only thing that gets me out of it is alcohol, even if it’s for a half a day it’s worth it. Without it it’s like a week long mental tooth ache
I don’t wanna try. My life is fucking through. Don’t understand why my aunt feels like she has to put a lock and key on what I want – booze, death. This may sound weird but she won’t even help me get the supplies I need to end my fucking miserable existence. She knows my life and how miserable it’s always been. Oh things can turn around she says, things can get better she says. Fuck that! Things never got better before so why in the hell should I expect them to in the future?
I guess it depends on what you call happiness. If i go by the definition of happiness in a meaningful way i guess i was happy for something like 3 years, rationed out across the span of 6 years of my life (when i was in my mid 20s-early 30s). If you go by the “happiness are just small moments” i’ve been happy all of my life, even know that i’m near my lowest.
Oh at least I got one more moment of happiness so that I’ll at least have a couple of things to think about when I do off myself.
I took the most gorgeous man I’ve ever known out to dinner and a movie, a few times.
He once spent the night next to me and we just talked and laughed about all kinds of shit.
And tonight I got to rub him down and give him a back massage.
And that’s as far as I’m going to get to go in life. I’ll still never know what it’s like to kiss or to have someone I love intensely.
I am 34. Happiness < age 10.
Sad 10 to 16.
Despair 16 to 23
Desolation 23 to present.
Incidental moments of contentment, nothing that lasted long…. moments of contentment short when able to mentally zone out and not have a care in the world.
Cool topic wndoz. I think it’s really interesting that most people still have a grip on what happiness is/was, even if it’s just a speck here & there.
I’ve had bits of happiness here & there but mostly life has been a horror show. Then from age 18-22 I had THE BEST LIFE EVER. Success, friends, money, love and most of all hope. And then just as fast as it came, it went. I fell so hard I think I cracked the earth’s crust in a few places. Since then life has been, well, the way you’d expect a life to be after you lose everything.
I was happy off and on as a child and teen. After that i went thru a very successful but joyless stage. I actually managed to turn off all emotion for about a decade. I was powerful but empty. I decided to try to reopen those portals and had about 2 years half joy half pain… then it all came crashing down. The source of the joy was lost and its been all pain since and i see no way back.
< 2007- I was naively happy
2009 – Darkness and Turbulence set in
2012 – Happy: The trappings of life had gotten the best of me: Job, Money, School, Girl etc
2014 – Depression & Anxiety/ Existential Crises Decimated me with no Hope of Redemption