third attempt

  December 13th, 2007 by coverinthebases

The cut was small.
And then it became deeper
and deeper
and deeper
The shiny white tendon in my arm began to burn as the blade took one nick after another.
The vien, like a hose, shot steady streams of blood onto the ground of my balcany like a pool.
Putting out one cigarette after another into the mirror of crimson liquid.

My cat walked by in the yard below, and all I could think was “Who is going to feed you if I die?”

Do any of you know what it feels like to have to clean up your own blood from a bathroom floor?
Do any of you know what it feels like to have to explain to your mother why you need her to take you to get butterfly bandaides for your arm?
Have any of you attempted to wait tables after bleeding for 8 hours?
Do you understand what it feels like to never again be able to carry the same amount of weight in one hand because of a stupid mistake that YOU made?

Nothing is worth the pain that’s caused for you after the chance of surviving,
and trust me, there’s always a chance.

Work through your issues.
One mistake is never the end..
Life is only as happy as you allow it to be.

You aren’t just hurting yourself when you attempt suicide.
The people that love you,
the ones that care about you most…
they feel like they haven’t done enough for you.
They feel like you don’t care enough about THEM to stick around long enough to evensee if things could get better.

Just wade it out.
Things get better.
They always do.
No matter what you say,
They always get better.
And if you disagree?
Get a grip, get over yourself…
and grow the fuck up.

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