all in all

Sod the grades sweetheart….grades really dont matter…grades dont make you a good person. Its you that makes you a good person and the love you have for your parents…..talk to them.
Im 47…passed no exams but doing ok. My 19 year old son didnt do well at school….so what…..he is doing ok now though.
He is doing so much better than all his friends … because he wants to and he has got support from me.
His friends that got grades are doing nothing.
I know it probeley feels like the end of the world to you….but it really isnt….talk to your parents…you sound low….there is help out there for you…..your parents will be so sad if they knew how you felt.
I know i would be if it was my son.X

i wont kill myself right away, well, i’ve spent tons of time thinking about life, i dont know why but thats what i usually do, i’m not a genious i’m not saying what i think is the truth, but nothing else seems as convincing, in the end all i found out is that life has no importance, i dont know what i live for, all i really care about is the earth and still i’m not even capable enough to devote my life to it. i dont feel desperate to die, although i wouldnt mind, life is too complicated for my little brain to understand and i dont enjoy it. i used to believe in god, but that was untill i turned sixteen, god gives you a purpose in life but the truth is there is no god and there is no purpose, so far all we’ve got for holding on to life so hard has been the destruction of this planet. i’ve considered thinking that earth is meant to be destroyed along with us, but still i love this planet and the wonderfull life it contains so i dont feel good about that thought. so please dont think the stress generated by bad grades is the only thing in my mind, and if you think this i wrote still makes no sense, then i’ll tell you more, i could tell you about the only girl i’ve ever loved, or how knowing that god does not exist made me not sad but apathetic towards life. i write this stories so that people can read them, i’m not looking for that kind of advise though, i really dont care much about anything, but than you for your time, really

thank you, hugo, i have as well considered all those posibilities, and they are probably the best way to go, still people keep pushing through things i’m not in love with, like becoming and engeneer, my parnts would probably understand that if i told them its not what i want, but i wouldnt want to let them down. that suicide story i wrote is not much about why i desperatly want to die, but about why i dont care about living, i dont understand anything, and neither do any of you. the difference is some people are concious of it, and others dont fully see or feel the truth, i’m not calling any of you unintelligent, but in my case i dont care much about love, or sadness or hate as i care about understanding, and i know i will never understand, but that doesnt make me want to live according to what my nature orders. sorry if theres anything you didnt understand, spanish is my 1st language. i hope you dont think i’m a complete waste of time, but maybe there’ll be something in my future to make me change, thank you again