sick

  May 30th, 2009 by mollyB

I have had an undiagnosed illness for 7 months now.  My symptoms are too overwhelming to indicate here however it is of a medical nature not psychological. This illness has left me mostly bedridden, unable to leave the house except for dr’s appointments and unable to drive and struggling to walk.  I’m in my mid 30’s and had everything going for me. I mean everything. I considered my life to be almost perfect. I am a lover of all life has to offer and now all i can do is look out my bedroom window and see everyone else and everything living. My new doctor seems certain that he will be able to pinpoint what is making me so ill.  I’ve been to so many specialists and have had so many tests that i feel like an alien being probed.  I feel like whatever is wrong with me will hardly have quick fix and since i have going so long without a diagnosis my body is damaged for life. I don’t want to live if i’m going to be like this forever but i literally have no way out. I envy those who have gone peacfully to the other side. I live through my dreams and the best ones are those in which i have someone who understands that can take the pain away.  All i can do for now is hold on in this isolation.

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