I was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago. I went through the chemotherepy, and i stopped responding to treatments. I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I didn’t wanna go through anything like that anymore. The doctors started me out on a new experimental medication, and i was on that for 3 months. Turns out, the medicine didnt help me at all, it actually sped up the spreading of my cancer, and now, i only have like a month left.
Everything is going downhill for me, and I have nothing to live for. I want to die so bad, I hate the pain im in, and that I’m making everyone sad by living. I have no family, and I live with a foster family, but thats it. I just broke up with my boyfriend, whos still very much in love with me, and he says he’ll be with me till the end. I told him about my thoughts, and he tried to convince me not to do anything at first, then he just gave up. He wants to be there when I decide to end it, I already had an attempt. But i was stopped. I just don’t see the reason in sticking around when all thats going to happen in the long run is that I”m going to suffer and die anyway. Theres nothing for me to live for. It’s not worth the pain.
7 comments
Think of your karma, this all could go on in your next life! Better clear it in this life! Everything comes from the soul and a suffering soul will also suffer in next life! Changing the body will change nothing! At least I will fight as long as I can!
This is the first time im actually responding to something like this. And im not sure if my words may mean anything to you, but i sure hope it does.
I wont lie and say that i know how it feels to be in that position, cause i dont. But i know what its like to want to end yourself.. I guess thats how we find out about this website x)
Eventhough you dont have much time left on your hands, Please just understand this one thing. Life’s the best thing in this world, and just being able to see another sunrise and sunset? You’re wrong, it IS worth the pain.
Dont end yourself, not while there’s still people in this world who love you. Foster family it may be, but a family nonetheless.. Dont leave this world thinking that you cant handle the pain. Dont stop breathing till your last breath. Everyday’s a gift..
I do not know you, and neither do you know me. But reading your story, im hurting for you.. And eventhough im an atheist, i want to pray for you. Im only 17, so my words may not carry much meaning or wisdom.. I just hope you’ll strive to live on, even if its just a single day more. For your boyfriend, for your family.. For your god given right to live.
Could you tell me the name of the experimental medication?
And the city in which this hospital is?
Who authorized the go ahead of this experiment?
Who’s paying the hospital bills?
How’re your parents reacting to your illness?
And where did the cancer start in your body? What symptoms?
And how did you find out you have a cancer?
Without answers, people would think this is just a prank.
i felt tha same way to hun..like i didnt want to be in the world.and my boyfriend did tha same exact thing…buh i am living now because i decided i want to live with the people who love me tha most my friendz…fuck tha family they.are never there
lovez da story hun….
Hi!
Don’t end it..try and find something to decrease your pain and spend time with your x boyfriend if he loves you.He will know what you are going through more then anyone else right now. Also , do things you enjoy doing watch a sunset or a sunrise,do something you have been wanting to do for a long time and have not had the chance to.
Pray..it may or may not heal you but it WILL comfort you. Whatever you do .. don’t go through this alone
heh, oh well, I have time, even if this did turn out to be a prank. But for me, knowing that there’s only a month to live, forgive me for saying, that would be a wonderful thing. Just 31 more days before I can finally leave this world, no one else knows when they’re gonna go, maybe tomorrow or at 98, if only mine is tomorrow. I used to think that if I was gone tomorrow, I’ve done everything I could and that I’ve no regrets. What about you, is there anything you want to try doing?
I don’t know how that pain feels like, so maybe you’re right in wanting to end it earlier. I hope you know that doesn’t mean I want you to, but like I said, I don’t know how much pain you’re really in. At least that’s the truth.