I stumbled upon this site one night, and I have been lurking for months. I feel it’s time to share my story – to try and talk and relate to someone. I’m sixteen years old, and these feelings ARE real. I’m not your ‘average’ teenager. I have been feeling depressed and suicidal for many months now and it’s getting to the point where I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve had a good upbringing – I go to school, have a job, money, a car etc. Everything a teenager could want right? But at the end of the day it is all meaningless, it doesn’t matter.
I feel so alone, I’ve never really had many friend but I had met someone this year who I considered to be my best friend. I thought things were starting to look up, but that never lasted. I’m back to being alone and stuck in this hole again! The sense of worthlessness lurks inside … I’ve always been passed up for anything more meaning full than ‘just friends’ and it hurts inside. No one knows the really me, no one understands.
I’m in too deep, nothing seems worthwhile anymore and I can’t go on like this. I feel dead inside, numb and lonely. I am kept waiting for my outsides to follow suit. Any day could be the day, maybe even tomorrow. Life isn’t worth it anymore, I have lost everything that ever mattered to me.
Why can’t I just be happy?!
Where to from here? … Somebody … Please!
2 comments
Hey There Michael:
I hope that things are well with you:) You seem to be a pretty cool person. Even so, i find it so funny, I just read your post and it seems to be the story of my life. I can honestly say that I can relate to you. It’s like even though things in life aren’t bad, there not that great either. It’s like you have everything a typical teenage should have but yet, none of it make you happy. And whats so wierd is that sometimes people may look at it as us being ungrateful but it’s not that…..its just that we can’t understand why sadness continues to bombard us.
Even so, I hope that every negative emotion that you are feeling can become more bearable for you and that you can somehow find the light in this dark world. I hope that you can experience every great thing that this life has to offer. May peace be with you my dearest michael:). If you ever need a friend, someone to talk to, vent to or perhaps sometone to make you smile, you can contact me at angeloflight91@hotmail.com.
Michael, nothing of this world ‘matters’ you are right. But what does matter is love and friendship, you clearly are a loving person but I suspect you look for company in the gutter (if that makes sense) look higher, open your heart, don’t let the wickedness and meaninglessness of this world close your heart off. You attract what you think – you are thinking negatively (I am worthless, I’m in this hole). I wish I could change your mind for you but I can’t, I wish I could send you love and friendship but I can’t, if I could I would send you buckets full. So I am making a wish for you that someone who CAN offer you those things spots you and contacts you, maybe someone on here can do that?