As Usual.

i hate u. i hate myself. in fact, i hate the entire f’ing world. so wat? why should u care? u shouldnt..but u shouldnt pity me either. i dont need a worthless emotion that makes me crawl back into my shell..i dont need ur look of hurt when i say a lie or tell u tat i dont need ur help or that im fine. wat  i need is blood…not that im creeper for blood but i need the calmness tat i get after i feel that pain and ripping of my skin into tiny nonexistent pieces.  i need this feeling to continue on…u may laugh at me and tell me tat im insane…but i can laugh back and say: wat do u know of me? do u know my pain? do u know how and wat i think when i see the world? do u know the despair and hatred i see in others? do u know the feeling that i get when i see someone and something and know as a fact tat im hated kus im me? do u know the disappointment and pain i see in my family? i wish i can erase everything. every single last bit of it fm the tips of toes to the last hair standing up. i want everything to be gone. why cant i dot it? kus im scared. im sorry but when i look at others and their happiness, i think ..how long will that plastic phase last? till i die? till u die? nope…it will always continue. but im a quitter. i quit everything. so why is it so hard for me to quit something called life? is it the fact tat i can never come back to it again? is it the fact tat im scared of the “future” after i quit? i see nothing. i hear nothing. i only feel pain, hatred, disappointment and disgust. i touch my scars again. im going back. im going back to the place where i can live…so please dont help…just agree. life is pointless. everything in life is pointless. life has no purpose. my scars and eyes have a purpose.