Jenny

Remember the movie Forest Gump? I used to watch it all the time when I was little.

I remember the part when Jenny was going through her drug stage and she climbed on top of the ledge of the skyscraper and thought about jumping off.

I remember climbing on top of the tv when that scene came on and jumping off of it into the bed.

I didn’t know back then that Jenny was contemplating suicide, I thought she wanted to go skydiving or something. But it felt good jumping off of the tv onto the bed when I did it. It made me crave for higher ledges to jump off of, so I can feel that rush last longer.

I often wondered if my final plunge would give me the same sense of release, and if my landing would be quick and painless. I’ve been to many high ledges so far in my life, and thought how it would feel jumping off it. But I don’t.

I really wish I did.