Living or dying

I’ve come to an end here. The despisement of my wife, the contempt of my son, my inability to do what a man should, has come to it’s fruition.
I can’t blame my wife for hating me. My choices in my youth have left us here struggling to make ends meet. She’s had to go to work and leave the kids here with me. I am wholly inadequate to do what needs to be done to take care of my family. If I do this, I’d have to make it look like an accident, to ensure my wife and kids get something from me. I no longer feel I have a choice in this. When I had thoughts like this as a younger man, there was always the hope of tomorrow. I live now without that hope. Nothing changes, soon we’ll be homeless, soon we’ll have no money for bills and soon my failure will be complete.
My wife can find someone else and a more than adequate father for the boys, but I think I need to get out of the way as soon as possible. I just need to figure out the how.