I am blind to reality, I fail to see what my life truly is. I look to the sun and I see no happiness, just a ball of hell that keeps us alive. I look around the world and see cruelty everywhere. Torture, death, And many other negative things. So I just need to take a deep breath and be happy, the key to happiness, don’t think about anything, don’t say things you don’t mean as they will drive away friends, don’t let minor imperfections of yourself ruin your self confindence, My message is just live the way you want and don’t think negative.
And good day everyone,
80 comments
It is sad to see the world as it truly is.
Hi Brandon how are you today?
Btw you’ll never get rid of me. I’m super loyal to my friends.
Well right now I feel horrible, in all honesty I would like nothing
Better that to cut myself but I would disobey promises, anyhow how are you Liz
It’s okay Brandon. Cut yourself if it’ll make you feel better. Just don’t bleed to death.
My day has been okay. Fairly happy. Last night X-Boy rejected me. 😛 haha
That’s good lol, and no I’m not cutting, I can’t. I would really love a cigarette right now, or as you call it, a shit stick
Yup a shit stick. Bad for your health, but who am I to stop you? Go ahead. Anything to make you happy.
Lol I don’t have any anyhow, well random question, what do you see out the closest window to you, I see trees, the road, the two houses across from me, and three cars.
I see the brick walls in my backyard, protecting me from them heathens’ =b
Just a sec Brandon. I’ll be back in ten minutes ok.
Lol. Who are the heathens,
Aye i was kiddin’ about the heathen thing,, i gota chill back some more..
Heathen the humanity…. but like you said try not to think negative right? … I mean,,, The negavtive things in life is something I will NEVER ever ignore, i mean you’re talkin to a guy that wants to dedicate his life to solve every single problem that exist on Planet Earth. Like a straight Professor X. And it’s the truth
like a straight out* Professor X, dedicating his life for a better Humanity
but I’m in my hell-hole right now, waiting trying to fight back to get out.
what do you think Dhalsim? ( you don’t mind me callin’ you that right? ) You down to fight the war for a New World Order? ha.
Ok. I’m back. I see the forest, the lake, some birds, four broken down vehicles, the dirt road, blue skies and puffy white clouds, the sun, some dogs, four houses, the elementary school in the distance, a few teenagers, and my reflection on the window. That’s what I see.
Haha ya a new world order would be great, lol
Oh hey Cyclops. ^^
Hey Mushroom Samba
That’s awsome Liz, can I ask you a question, why do humans feel sadness,
woww you live by the forest? that brings back memories,, aah those were the days.
I thought I was the La Mumba. Still no Jean Grey? ha
Hmm, Brandon I wish I knew. But the best we can do is at least try to be happy even when it gets difficult.
Liz that is hard as hell as I’m sure you know that. There are many times when I just want to give up on everything, life is murderous, I want so much to just enjoy life but it’s hard.
Yup. It sucks. But I’m trying really hard for you. <3 I want to be happy.
Me too, I’m trying real hard for you too Liz. And about cutting, I’m doing it now, it’s making me feel a little better at least.
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bbl
Sorry x boy
🙁 🙂 😀 😛 😉 haha Cyclops I thought of doing the same thing
Brandon thanks. >.< The restrictions has been lifted! Nah I don't feel like cutting anymore.
So my pain gives you comfort,
sorry for what you didnt do anything. I feel your pain though, the pain of ‘ this fucken sucks ‘ right?… I think we both feel the same way, and… actually we all feel that way, im pretty damn sure…. This fuckin’ sucks ( excuse my language ) but just saying ‘ This Sucks ‘ doesnt do justice.. damn.. damn..
haha =) =b =| =) doin it again to bring up back the mood a lil
No Brandon your pain doesn’t give me comfort. It makes me sad T_T
I want you to be happy 🙁
Well bbl, time to exercise, i suggest yous do the same? laters
haha ‘ so my pain brings you comfort ‘ , sorry but the only way for me to cope is to be pleasant. laters
Later x boy. I’m going too. Good bye
Right. I gotta go too. Talk to you guys later. Maybe tomorrow or next week. Bye.
I’m not coming back, I give up on everything, fuck this. Bye
Ok. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you. Love you.
How can I expect people to help me when I can’t even help myself and sorry can you stay, I’m sorry,
I understand what you mean. I always say the same thing to myself. It’s okay Brandon.
Not that it helps, but I’m right there with y’all. My dw asks what she can do to help; if I knew I sure would tell her. I’m usually think a rapid infusion of hot lead would do the trick, but I don’t say it. No sense in both of is having a completely broken heart.
I always drive friends away because when I’m depressed sometimes I say stuff I dont mean. :(. I wish I wasn’t like this, I don’t want emotions, because people will end up just ripping them to shreds.
You’ll never drive me away Brandon. I’ll always stand by you.
I drove Anna away, she hates me and will probably never talk to me again, Im numb now, it’s all done, I’m purely dead, it’s all gone. I hate love, it does not fucking exist at all, :(( I can’t handle life anymore, it’s done for me
If love doesn’t exist then what is this I’m feeling? If you go and die I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for not having the power to help you. I’m sorry.
No, Anna doesn’t hate you. I’m sure she doesn’t. She just has problems to deal with like everyone else. Look what you said, “I always drive friends away because when I’m depressed sometimes I say stuff I dont mean.” This is probably what she’s feeling too.
Thanks Liz. And no Annas gone from my life, I wish it wasn’t true but she’s gone :(. I ruined it. Everything is my fault, I deserve to rot 6 feet under the ground. And Liz I love you too, thanks for dealing with me, which isn’t easy I know.
What happened between you and Anna, did you two get into an argument?
🙁 Everyone’s so distant. C’mon we’re the three best friends that anyone can have. Right?
No you don’t deserve to suffer. Nobody deserves to die. We all deserve a chance at finding real happiness, one that’ll last.
awh yeah don’t include me in the ‘3 best friend thing’ =P . yeah that’s me just poppin’ up here and there. blah. hey man i care about you guys too! =b
Sorry X-Boy. It’s just that the three of us became friends so fast. We can be the four best friends if you want.
🙁 I’m sitting in the living room with my brother, and I’m trying very hard not to break down and cry because Brandon, you’re making me sad.
No Me x boy and Liz are best friends, we wouldn’t disclude you x boy. And Liz I do deserve to suffer, and I have no chance at finding real
Happiness cause I ruin it when I get it so I give up, no I’m not killing myself, i just give up. I don’t want to ever love again, dating love that is, it will bring nothing but sadness, I don’t want to ever have sex, I don’t want an intimate relationship with anyone, friends of course, but I just give up on love.
And Liz don’t cry, I’m somewhat happy now sweetie. I love you
No you don’t. If you feel that way then I shall convince my shitty self to give up too. I’m full of shit and bullshit anyway. T_T
…what about Lisa?
You don’t deserve to feel sad all the time. I love you too.
For Lisa, I love her, and il try, we just live so far away
Well that was fast. Right Cyclops? (unlike us)
My gawd Brandon you are such a teenager. <3
I'm glad you're feeling happier now.
I guess, right now I’m sitting listening to Marduk. Ever hears of it Liz, ur in to black metal aren’t you
Marduk the band from Norrkoping Sweden. Heard of them but I have yet to listen to their music. Coming from a small town it’s hard to even buy new CD’s. But I’ll try to download their music. That’s one of the reasons internet is for.
Can you recommend one of their songs?
Haha there pretty good, what black metal bands do you like
And ya, weird name but one is. Black tormentor of Satan lol, I don’t make the names
Wait I’ll go look.
Okk
Enslaved, Burzum, Behemoth, Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir, Gorgoroth… and lots more I can’t name them all, yeah. Horns up!
Haha awsome, mine are dimmu borgir, coldworld, windir, burzum, emperor, striborg, but my all time is and shall always be xasthur,
Wow, I promise I’ll have to buy more black metal. Can’t get enough of it. ^^ haha
Haha, me neither. Can I ask u something , ur very secretive with alot lol What is one of your secrets,
Uhh… I’m not sure. You’re gonna have to tell me a secret of yours to get one out of me…if you can.
Im afraid of girls,
Lol
Girls aren’t so bad except that they can look alittle weird ‘down there’. Well I’m afraid of boys cuz they look even more weirder ‘down there’. There that’s my secret, which I wasn’t even embarrassed of sharing. Wait does a secret have to be embarrassing for it to count?
Haha no ur good, lol ya I suppose, I’ve never had sex so I wouldn’t know lol
^^ That’s good. I ain’t telling any other secret of mine. lol
I’m watching the movie called ‘Devil’ with my brother right now. Really good. Have you ever seen Paranormal Activity? The first movie was scary but the second, eh not so much.
Ok. If u decide you want to. U know I wouldn’t judge u
Ya I seen that. Devil. Strange movie lol I never seen paranormal activity before though. Il have to watch it
🙂 Yes you should. Try not to get too freaked out. =P
When I get my first cellphone I’ll tell you another secret of mine kay.
I have to go now Brandon. Goodnite. I love you. Take care.
Good night Liz. I love you, I just wish I wasnt so stupid, good night
I don’t think you’re stupid. I love you so much. Bye.