Continued from: here.
Letter didn’t go so well. I threw too many complaints at him at once, completely blindsiding him. But I had no other way to get it out. I was hoping this could open an avenue of discussion between us and we could be more comfortable around each other. Today… the next day… I feel like I’m choking. I was fine all day until he got home from work. He acts like he’s walking on eggshells around me. He says at dinner, “I would tell you about my day, but I’m not allowed to talk about anything negative.” … I had nothing to say about my day. I woke up. Talked to some internet friends. Talked to my mother… about him… I had to leave that part out. Slept more. Talked more to internet friends. I didn’t work on cleaning up the house like I was supposed to. Nothing interesting to say. I told him the little I could. Dinner was quiet.
Afterwards I went to take a shower and made more imaginary plans to vanish to the other side of the country. To disappear without having to deal with any of this. All this stress. This guilt. I made him nearly cry. What kind of wife gives their husband a two page document of everything she hates about him? A terrible one. But that doesn’t make my points any less valid.
Can’t I just disappear now? -_-
Instead I’ll go clean the house like I promised I would.
2 comments
I feel like I’m in the same boat as you, just with my fiance instead…
There are times I feel like vanishing too. Going somewhere far so no one will find me and be hurt by me. Today is one of those days I wish someone will lock me up and throw the key away so I can’t do anything horrible.