Since I was about eight, I’ve planned on commiting suicide. I planned everything out, and this was the year. After 8 years no one has noticed. No one has really even noticed me in general. I don’t think my death would touch people, or make anyone feel guilty. It’s not like I want it to, I don’t want people to notice, it’s just dumb that you can just go, and no one would care. Of course my family would be upset, and they would be angry. But I’m angry that they think they can treat me the way they do, and I’m ok with it. I wrote out notes to people, I want them to know every word I was to afraid to say. I also want them to know it’s not their fault, and everything I said is out of anger and hurt. I just can’t handle everything at once. I want to give the the chance to see what they’ve done, apologize and change.
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Give them that chance. Let them know through your voice and not your ink. It keeps your plan flexible if anything.
I don’t want it to be a threat, like “if you don’t change I’m going to kill myself”. And as I said “every word I was to afraid to say”, I have severe anxiety, I can’t just talk to people. I have given some people the chance, but they just ended up hurting me again. I’ve given out too many second chances.