bleeding..

I’m addicted to it again. Every morning and night I have to do it. I tried telling my friend, Rian. I tell him everything. This time though, I know he’s sick of it. I feel bad for doing this to him, I’ve dumped it all on him. But he didn’t have to react like he did. He could have pretended to care. So now I have thick red lines all down my arm. Good thing it’s winter, or I would have to take my jumper off. And the guy I like…  well, nothing yet. We had a strong eye contact, but that’s about it. I feel like I’m on stand still now, never getting better, never worse. Just staying the same.