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Does it mean I’m ready?

by TheLivingCorpse15
written by TheLivingCorpse15

I’ve been planning and researching and such. I finally chose a method, rather quickly even. Now…I just have this feeling of absolute calm. It’s really odd; I could almost laugh. Does it mean I’m ready to die? Does it mean I should do it the first chance I get? I just feel so peaceful, so at rest…

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10 comments

avirtualme 7/24/2011 - 4:12 am

I don’t think it means you are ready. I don’t think we are ever ready. It is (for me, anyway) not that I want to die, but rather I just don’t want to live LIKE THIS anymore. I CANNOT live like this anymore – the pain is overbearing. And I don’t know how to fix it.

I have been severally depressed since I was small – I remember being depressed around age 5. I am 37 now. It was not until I was in a life or death situation that I made this distinction. When someone tried to physically harm me I fought like hell. I didn’t want to be killed – so I must not *want* to dye.

I just want to *not hurt* anymore. Maybe you feel this way too – not that you want to die but that you just don’t want to hurt anymore?

eugenics89 7/24/2011 - 4:25 am

It’s your moment go on

indifference 7/24/2011 - 5:55 am

That’s how I felt before my attempt. I was completely calm about it, and life even seemed better because I thought it was going to end.

iamafailure 7/24/2011 - 6:42 am

What method is it? Care to share?

TheLivingCorpse15 7/24/2011 - 4:14 pm

Helium Hood, and if that doesn’t work I have a backup; very sharp knife to stab myself with in the heart. I’m pretty determined and don’t care about pain. I think I’m like the person above who felt better because they knew it would soon end.

iamafailure 7/24/2011 - 4:51 pm

I have no idea where to get Helium here in my country. :/ and Oww.. I heard that slitting your wrist alone needs alot of courage and willpower, let stabbing your heart straight. I think I’ll prefer suicide jump or hanging. Faster and simpler. :S

TheLivingCorpse15 7/24/2011 - 7:32 pm

Well, I’ve got the courage and willpower where death is involved. I’ve always wanted to be able to feel it anyway, I mean really feel it. Supposing my first method fails me, I’ll probably enjoy my backup regardless of the pain. Strange, really. Anyhow, I’ve decided to look at the weather and see if it will rain anytime soon, because I want it to rain when I die. Makes things more interesting somehow. But if there isn’t any chance of that, I think Friday works for me. I love being so ridiculously calm…

outcesticide 7/24/2011 - 7:52 pm

I feel the same way.so calm i could a most laugh wow I never thought about it that way when I laugh to myself about absolutely nothing I’m a creep:(&i don’t think your ready.but if you are WOW you’re a quick confidence gainer (think that’s what you’d call it)*hope everything gets better:)

TheLivingCorpse15 7/24/2011 - 10:32 pm

Outcesticide 🙂 I’m honored to have you comment on my little post (I love your name). Don’t you know creeps are the second most interesting people there are? The best, of course, are absolutely insane. I’d like to think I am a quick confidence gainer….probably due to stupidity, but what the hell. On a side note, it is actually supposed to rain here on Friday. Great how that all worked out…

outcesticide 7/24/2011 - 10:55 pm

Awh make me feel wanted:)I’m in love&i love rain just saying

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