I finally am brave enough to tell my story.

I was sixteen years old when my first boyfriend broke my heart. We were madly in love with one another. We knew everything about one another and loved everything about eachother through the good and the bad. We made plans to get married and have a family some day. A year into the relationship he broke up with me for no good reason at all. I was completely devastated. I didnt know what to do. It felt like my whole life was just ripped away from me. I spent all my time with him, i hung out with his friends, he was apart of me. Not having him felt like i was missing the good in me. He got a new girlfriend ten days after we broke up. I was completely in love with him and i thought he was with me to but i soon found out that that was a lie. One night it got to much for me to bare; i thought to myself how could i love some one so much and them not want me back. He was world my everything and i lost it in a blink of a eye i didnt know of any other option. Suicide was the only thing i could think of so i could finally stop hurting. So i wrote my ex boyfriend and said i love you, but i guess that wasn’t good enough goodbye. I grabbed a bunch of prescription pills any that i could find and took them all. After 20 min i dont remember a thing. Until i woke up in the middle of the night in severe pain and throwing up. I just wanted to die, i thought thats what i was going to accomplish. But it didnt work. I attempted to do that a few more times over the years, because the pain of losing him was unbearable. But one day i get a call from my friends mother; my friend had killed herself. I had no idea she was in that much pain; as much pain as me. She had no idea i was in that much either because we never told each other. I went from day to day with a smile on my face hiding how i was feeling and so did she. So i know the importance of talking to someone when your feel this way. If i would have seeked help from her maybe she would still be alive. But i saw what her death did to everyone. She didn’t just hurt herself she killed a little piece of everyones heart around her. I never want to be responsible for anyone’s sadness. I learned a very important lesson from what happened, and now i am as happy as ive been in 3 years. I know that a lot of people know what its like to hit rock bottom and so do i. Trust me i have been at rock bottem, and even though you feel as if you wont be able to survive it; you will. I now have the best best friend i could ask for, i go to college and have a good job. If i would have succeeded in killing myself i wouldnt have got to exsperiences that lifes has to offer. I am extremely happy at this point in my life and i thank god everyday that he did let me succeed in suicide.