Outwardly, nothing would seem wrong in my life…I am a research scholar in a reputed university..have done really well in my studies up till now..have a proper family and a bunch of friends..but I have been single all my life…It was by choice up till now..I come from a society which gives a lot of emphasis on marriage and like everything else, the society itself has fixed norms..a certain age to get married, a certain age to have kids…I find al this absurd..but right now, I am under so much pressure from all sides I dont know what to do…Arranged marriage is a very common thing in my society, with more than 60-70% of people opting for it..I decided to give it a try..But it has been dismal and disappointing till now, to say the least…everyday I will have to hear questions from people, asking me when I will marry, why I am not married even now, why I dont have a bf, and the worst thing is the sympathy..the excuses, the condescension..I avoid people, even my family and friends now..because I dont want to listen to them asking me about this..Not that I am not ready for marriage, but its just not happening…The guys I meet are just not anywhere near what I expect..When my own mom blames me for being too critical and tells me that she is sure I will never ever fall in love with any guy, I dont know what to say..She thinks I am incapable of loving anyone..and that the best thing I can do is to just say yes to a guy they think will be appropriate for me..I do not even have an option of waiting..As I said coming from a conservative society, I have already crossed the so called “marriageable age”..Gosh, after typing so much even I myself feel so silly..But the thing is, I have completely lost hope or will to live..I always worry about my future..I am scared I will never find my right guy 🙁 All around me, I see people who are happy and stable with a wonderful partner..all my close friends got engaged or married recently..I guess that just added to my loneliness…I really want to live, I have so many things to do..but, I have forgotten how it is to be happy and relaxed..how it is to laugh freely..If at all I die, I want to make sure that it is foolproof..Anyway, venting out these emotions, however silly the reason may be, has helped me a little
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2 comments
I really admire you for standing up for yourself.
I doubt that your family and friends want you to be unhappy, but evidently, that is what they are making you.
In my opinion you are absolutely 100% right in your approach, you’re taking your time and trying to stay attuned to what is right for YOU.
I wonder what your mother and others would say if you told her to marry this guy or divorce that guy or whatever. They’d probably think you’d gone mad. Ahh, parents, they find it so hard not to meddle…
Ultimately, I think that everyone, including your family and friends, will benefit most from you following your heart. If you want to be single, fine. If you fall in love, fine. Etc. As long as it makes YOU happy. Because if you’re happy, you’ll spread happiness where you go.
Bowing to the whims of others will weaken you, being true to yourself will strengthen you.
You probably know all this already. Anyway, thanks for sharing and good luck.
Oh, and P.S. love needn’t be rushed 🙂
muspelhem I think you need to read the post again. She lives in a country where arranged marriages are the norm!!!! She could be in big trouble soon.