I hate myself. I want myself to die a horribly painful death.

What did you do to deserve all this hate and pain?

Because I hated myself for a really long time. I felt like I’d screwed up everything I did and hurt too many people, and I had the chance to hurt more people. I felt like I was causing more harm that good and too much of a burden on my family and friends. I wanted to kill myself before things got anything worse.

But you know what? I was wrong. About all of it. My family and friends don’t want me to leave, and I’ve done a lot of good in my life. I’m studying for a career that is solely for the purpose of helping people.

Mostly, it was the pain. The pain piled up on top of me and literally clouded my brain; I couldn’t think straight. That sounds strange and dramatic but it’s true. And another part of it was that there were some people who were making me feel worthless and pointless. I learned, though, that their abuse wasn’t about me. It was about them trying to make themselves feel better about their own lousy self-esteem. In other words, they were taking their anger out on me. It still hurts when I encounter it but I know it’s not about me.

Do you want to talk about what’s hurting you? Because you don’t deserve this pain. You deserve to live and allow yourself to be happy. Stay a little longer, things will get better. 🙂 Take care and please be safe. ♥♥