My life: 06/12/08. -The day I tryed to Die-

On July 12, 2008, I was haveing a hard day. I remeber that day as it it were yesterday.

I had awoken to screaming, and yelling of my mother and brother. My mom had thrown a vase at him, well, my home-made vase that I made out of clay when I was 7. I loved that damn thing, I was pround of it.

My mother had turned to look at me, and started screaming at me, and saying words like,” You stupid whore! Your nothing but a slut!” And all that, and I was only 8 or 9. Thats sad, and I was the loner girl at school. Everyone though I was mute, because I never talked. Not even when I teacher told me to, I ignore them, and continued to draw. They just never said anything cause I’m incredibly intellagent. Stupid smart brain.

She had slapped me, and then started hitting me. I finally got away from her, and threw three butcher knives at her, one accually hit, and it hit her leg.  It didn’t hit hard, so she was fine. My brother finally had had enough, and punched her unconcious.

It was maybe 4 hours later, she had awoken. still pissed as ever. She grabbed me by my hair, and drug me outside. And locked me out. Dumb ass. It’s not like I kept my window locked. I climbed through my window, and grabbed my jump rope, that she had gotten for me a few months back. As well as my bone pocket knife, that had a slight sliver of Turqiouse in it.

I then jumped back out, and walked calmly to my tree. It was a medium sized Oka Tree that I climbed to the top to get away from everybody. No one looked there, exept my other brother, Boo.

I tied the jump rope around a limp that was secluded from all the others, So my feet could dangle. Before I did my dues. I payed my debts. I slit, slowly, and deeply, across my left wrist. It didn’t really hurt, untill the blood oozed out, then It kind of stunk. The blood didn’t stop.

I then made a double knot with the jump rope, and tightened it around my neck. I could still breathe, because I was still on the branch. I didn’t jump, I slowly slid down the tree. My head hurt, like my brain was going to pop. It got really hot, then really cold. I was almost dead. Almost free’d of the stupid world. Untill, My brother, Boo, had gotten off from work. He emediently saw me, and grabbed my knife that had landed on the ground. He placed it in his mouth, ad climbed up the tree really fast. He didn’t care if I broke a limb or two, as long as I didn’t die. He cut the rope in one big slice, and jumped down to lossen the jump rope from my neck.

Not but a few days later, I was put in a mental hospital, and soon was on medication. I took 4 different pills a day. Anti-Depressence, Bipolar Disorder, Mental Stability, and Lithium. The reason why I don’t say them all, is because I can’t pronounce the pills I took.

Also, when I attended school, everyday, I had an hour long session with a councler. Untill she though I was insane, and mentally challenged. She thought that I was talking to myself, and had arguments with myself. And when I got quiet, it was because I was mad at myself- and didn’t talk to myself. And I didn talk to myself, still do. I’ve been diagnosed with Rapid-Cycling Bipolar Disorder.

That’s my oh so sad and tragic story.

~Shalen