I don’t remember any sustained feeling of happiness in my life. I learned a long time ago not look forward to something because that’s a guarantee that it won’t happen. I thought that my kids’ father would be at least a activevof their life. WRONG! He not interested in that. I could walk out of this door and leave all three of my kids without a further thought. That’s sad huh? I’m that sad and tired. I wish I never met “Ken” and I wish that I never got pregnant ten years ago and that I didn’t listen to people who said they’d be there for me and should’ve gotten an abortion. I got pregnant at 20 and missed out on being young. Now I am 30 and everything is a struggle and I’m so depressed all the time that I don’t want to deal with anything. I don’t know how to raise kids. The more I try the worst they act. I don’t have anything else to give. I just want to be happy again. And feel something beside this burning nothingness and anger and disappointment. I deserve to be happy..I refuse to suffer all by myself. I would rather test theory and feel nothing than to continue suffocating in this depression.
I wasted my life. I flunked out of college, I’m unemployed, and I have a kid that gives me hell and shes only ten.
1 comment
Your happiness took a backseat once you had kids. It’s now hinged on their well-being, and the time spent with them is not wasted. There are three pairs of eyes looking up to you, stay strong.