I’ve been depressed since I was 14-15.. When I was 17, I got sexually assaulted. I was very drunk when it happened, and couldn’t fight him off. After that.. my life went downhill. Simple things that shouldn’t bother me, could easily make me cry – or break down even. I still feel guilt and shame over it, to be completely honest. Things have just been getting worse this year.. And lately, I’ve been thinking about a way out. I’ve never really thought about it before.. not like this.. I mean, yes, who haven’t had a day where you think to yourself, “I wish I was dead”? Anyway, I just never thought too seriously about it.. I always considered suicide as a very selfish thing to do. I still think it is, but I understand it. Anyway, guilt is partly what’s stopping me. When I close my eyes at night, I picture my mother crying over my dead body. The other thing that’s stopping me, is love. You see, I’ve been blessed with loving, supportive parents. They love me, and I love them too. I couldn’t bear to hurt them like that. So yeah, I think I’ll be fine. I will try, at least.
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Hey; I’m a good deal younger, but if you’d ever like to talk about anything, I’d love to talk, and I’m here for you…I know how it feels to be sexually assaulted/raped.
Drop me a line at Jessica-castle@hotmail.com
If you don’t want to talk, just hold on, please…Things will get better. I promise.
Hmm, wow. I pretty much feel the same. I love my parents and I know that it’d absolutely crush them if anything ever happened to me, especially if it was by self-harm. I’ve never been sexually assaulted or anything, so I may not understand what you’re going through, but if you want you can email me jasminetrac@yahoo.com
I hope things get better for you! 🙂