i’m running out of reasons for me. i feel like i make everyones life hell. my family, my boyfriend, and even my friends. i see things and hear things. i can’t stop emotionally eating and i constantly think about hurting myself. i had a problem with cutting and smoking p*t because it helped me feel better..my boyfriend says if i do it again he’ll leave me. but i feel like those things are little but they help me hold on. at night when everyone goes to sleep i fantasize about all these ways to kill myself. my mother wastes money on pills for me that dont work. the medicines..they dont work. last september i tried to commit suicide by overdosing. i just had a seizure and was put in a mental institution. it didn’t help me in the least bit…i came out with more problems. i just recently lost my best friend which i talked to at night to keep me in a healthy mental state and my boyfriend signs off on me because we fight at night. i dont even want to do anything. i have to push myself to see anyone besides my boyfriend. every day is unbearable. why should i want to live when everything is going wrong?
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You should want to live for yourself no one or nothing else. To live for the experience good and bad. I know cliche as it sounds some of the worst times in my life led me to some of the greatest times. I still feel like i only get one of those every blue moon cause my life always seems to be hell. I don’t know what your meds are for but i think you need meds that help your mood stabilize so you wont hurt so much. And the rest you have to change the meds only take you part of the way you have to be positive and stay positive you have to get back control of your life cuz if not you’ll loose it all. i speak from personal experience. I know i didnt like to hear stuff like this but i needed to cuz its all true and i hope you get what i’m trying to say. I hope with all my heart that you really try to fix yourself for YOU. Its your life and your only gonna waste your time trying to find reasons to live or to try and fix your life with things or persons around you.
I’m going to die within a year but if I could name something that keeps me occupied (happy) until then It’d definitely be my big brother. We fight obviously but thats one bond noone can break 🙂
zeitgeist. to change society. afterall, in my opinion, we are all we have.