Yup, depressed again…

Either I’m depressed again. Or I just hate when people take away my mic for ps3 because I spoke loudly or the firt time the whole day and she flipped out. Now I feel depressed again. I feel happy that it’s back, in a way. Probably because I believe my old habits make me at ease. Or that’s how I interpret it. I allow myself, with my 16 year old and oxygen deprived mind, to believe that is why… My uncle came home with bloody hands (I of course am not British, I am Mexican and not proud of it) because he got in a fist fight with an immature 18 year old talking about his dead mother. That being said, he hit him and has teeth marks and his preys blood on his hand. And he doesn’t like my attitude, so he has something in on me. My dad gave me $100 for being such a good boy after getting that poor-excuse-of-a-test STAR test a above average rating. That is by far the easiest test, yet my grades are horrible and I never do homework or something… Well, I was wondering what to invest in. A 16GB USB drive in case it works with PS3 to store memory and hopefully add fallout nexus mods for a game of mine. Save up in case of whatever comes in the future, put it towards an exit to off myself, maybe a new video game I can play for a month straight (or less) then get frustrated with it and quit. Maybe I should choke and clear my head so I don’t have to worry about it. Then stare at pictures in the memory of my iPhone of the love of my life and my cousin… Great idea, and while I’m at it, grab a can of axe and attempt to get high off the inhalant, which never works for me. Maybe I shOuld invest in some weed from my cousin. I love the feeling and it’s a good choice in case I hate life, so why not surround myself in a group of weed/booze induced teens… Maybe I should contemplate suicide and imagine life without humans, or how the rich enjoy pleasure because they have millions while we squabble for cash, just to live in a roach infested apartment. My mom told me how instead of buying that wretched restaraunt that she owned for a short time, she could have owned 2 subways and had money… Now she’s stuck with 2 crying children, 2 men without jobs, and a teen who plays video games all Fay while secretly contemplating suicide while his mother succumbs to the wretched world and the financial problems she faces… (tried to sound intelligent if spellchek was a person I would have murdered it by now…)

Categories:
General: yes it is very boring
Rants: No one cares about this stupid post, I will look at this post every day and notice the gray circle, AKA a zero
family and friends effects: of course they affect me, they also lead to half or more of my problems. I am in no way selfish, but I haven’t done much in the first place.
Poetry and Art: I suck at that.
Suicidal survivor: why would I want to survive suicide, yet how cab a ***** even do it.
Stories of Loss: of course dipshit, I lost all motives to survive this heartless wasteland called earth.
I will survive: ……. Now that…. Is by far…. The most….. (BANG!!!!) horrible idea on the face of the planet. Why survive if there’s no pleasure in life… We live, then why don’t we die immediately afterwards. Wish that spider bite killed me, wish it was too serious to be treated by antibiotics…

I keep Jamie’s hope up that we will meet someday, but I know for sure that… It will never happen. I’m sorry babe, but life won’t give me the lemons I desire to make lemonade and meet you. And I’m done searching for this lemons.

May God(/religion) be destroyed.

At least I won’t cry about it, all I will do is laugh and tell it’s stupid to even write on here about it….

If you text me, then you know how I write things, I write something and press enter/return 100 times, then write a secret note….

FUCK 3A01 (upside down…)