September 5th, 2011by Nihilism00

Loneliness, A longing for just one hand to hold, for someone to love you unconditionally no matter who you are. To live happy, not a mask of happiness, real happiness. Sometimes it feel as if the stars are the only ones who love you. Never judging nor betraying. Yet there hands are to far for one to hold. So the dark continues to envelope me in darkness. Must it be to ask. Probably so. So hard to fight for salvation. All I want is to be able to enjoy my gift of life. That’s what we all want. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Who I want to be, what is my purpose. That’s simple, I have no purpose, I’m fucking tired of being so lonely and judged and ignored and looked down upon, I’m tires of being the fucking laughing stock, I’m tired of being used, I’m tired of hypocritical friends, but I don’t want to be alone. I have no motivation to do anything. Nothing. I never get any sense of accomplishment out of anything.

All I see in the mirror is my ugly face, I cringe at the sight of it. I have anxiety, I always feel that someone is judging me. I don’t get out much, I rarely hang out with friends. I dread the start of school, at least I was somewhat happy during the summer.

But all in all I feel worthless, useless, unwanted.

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