I want to die. Â I use to be suicidal, I’ve never quite stopped being suicidal but I haven’t had quite so many attempts in the past 10 years.
I think about it routinely.  If I had a better way of doing it I may already be gone by now.  I have someone who watches me closely.  I don’t have the opportunity to do a lot if I wanted to.  Fuck these safety nets. Someone cut them.
By this time I have done my research.  I have had my share of failed attempts.  Next time, what doesn’t kill me is going to leave me maimed for the rest of my life.
I feel I can’t talk to anyone about it. Â Since everyone is against suicide. Â I’m not really asking anyone to be pro-suicide either just not as against it as everyone else is. Â So please don’t be walking into this post with your happy sunshine bullshit because it isn’t wanted I can get that anywhere else.
2 comments
resist these lies thats all u have to do renounce suical thoughts and turn to christ he will surley bring deliverance
Well then, i will say this. If you do one day commit
suicide, I can tell you, IT WILL NOT end the pain and the misery, you are feeling now. You will be walking around in a different dimension wondering WHY THE HELL YOU DID IT. You wont be able to smile or talk to anyone, it wont stop you trying though. You will be a ghost!
Hope this is the response you wanted.
Ruthy 🙂