tell me why??

I did not grow up easy…well it whas hell don’t know my father I whas raped when I whas small my father how raised me bett me up every day just because I whas not his son on almost every table in the house there where drugs…school that was shit always in a fight just because I whas the small 1 in school and I whas the only 1 fighting back, teachers ignored me had no frends can’t talk to anyone my 2 sister’s did all the bad things and I got the blame and punished I sleep outside I have never heard the words (I love u) but aferter school it whill be better right uhmm no not at all I moved away start a new life I did not see my family in 3 years I had the best work but got fired because I’m white and not black I always got cheated on never had a girl longer then a couple of months can’t find a job I’m internal broken I have pyn on my body it hurts so much don’t even help to cry…if someone can give me a really good reason not to die ?? If you care I whill tell you the rest of my shit life…( I live in south Africa and white black thing still very strong here )