contemplating

This might be the end… I feel like no matter what I do in life I can never win, being an honest guy only gets me into trouble. I feel like every one is out to get me, last year I did 3 months in jail for walking down my own street, this kid I had trouble with in the past, called the police and said I threatened to kill him and I was holding a knife standing in front of his house, complete b.s ‘ police believed him bcuz of my record of violence ‘

Any ways to make a long story short, I’m going to jail for 2 months, In January… my gf’s step dad is a child molester, she told me what he did to her and her sister when they were young,  he can’t mind his own fkn business, he called the police and forced my gf to charge me for problems that happened in the past witch we moved on forgot about,  I really think he is obsessed with her, he is a sick person and wanted me out of her life and put in jail… when the police came to my house they just said we wanna talk to you, so I said okay, then they arrested me and ya I admit I resisted arrest, but they said I assaulted them when I never did….. so now I’m fucked bcuz my lawyer said I could have gotten these charges dropped, but now with an assault police charge il have to do jail time, 2 months doesn’t seem to long but with social anxiety it’s a living fkn nightmare! ‘ I feel like a complete failure in life and just a big disappointment to my family. I know when I go to jail il jus have anxiety attacks all day long… I tryed to end it last month, but I panicked at the last second, I’m not the same happy positive guy I use to be. why am I still here???