After all the fighting the judge believed the lie’s  my ex’s mother put  before him .He didn’t even request proof. Before I’ll sign my my rights over I’ll be dead. I will not have my only surviving child from my first marriage think I don’t want him. I’ve received threats , calls e-mail letters under the door since 2006. ‘If I try for one I’ll lose all three.” If I don’t walk away anything could happen to one of the kids. Accidents happen all the time.” And I can’t even prove it was them either of them, ex husband or ex mother-in-law. They have money and I don’t.  I have another son from my current husband,wonderful man by the way. I broke down and told him what I had planned he just got up and said WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS. I was trying to tell him i wasn’t going to give up.  So I’m back on track with my plan just another day. I just don’t know how to tell my 10 my year old good bye. I can’t put him through any more of him watching me have  flash backs.  I’ve been on a hunt for a surrogant  mom for him in the family. Our family cares about them. It’s time for me to go.  All three kids will be safe if Im dead. That’s all a mom can do isn’t it ? Keep her babies safe. Two more days and my kids will no longer have to be afraid.
2 comments
Do what you need to do, …….. I don’t think telling your 10 year old goodbye is a good idea.
If you want to go and do something meaningful for the last time with him thats ok, telling a kid goodbye will leave him with more life long guilts than just a plain ole suicide.
Hopefully your transit will be a peaceful one.
Thank you I was planning on taking him fishing. And leaving a letter for him for when he was older, MUCH older explaining why. We live out in a country town so lots of fields. Giving him a good memory kind of was my way of spending my last day with him. He just told me he hates fishing. He only does it it to spend time with me. we’ve called the police and theres nothing they can do. Wait i better back up. I was sent the threats. Than more this past month. I took my cell to an officer after the 6th cell phoneI was terrified that well, up untill i said i would sign rights over to my first born. The same guy that was one of my ex’s buddys has been trying to pick my younginst up when he is on his way from the bus stop . The school started picking him up at the edge of our corner , we live by corner so . Okay my son was safer. I’m scared of the guy. He is not my ex but I don’t sleep because i’m afraid I wouldn’t get everyone out if one of those accidents occured , like a fire. My stepdaughtr walks to school He has followed her to. Look I don’t want to die I just have to choose what’s more important. After telling me he hated fishing he told my hubby last night the guy told him his mom was doing the right thing. Just forget he ever had a brother. and speed off. My hubby just told me.Even if i killed my self that’s not gonna keep my kids safe. Plans change. After that I got pissed. I think I’m gonna try a less traumatic (for my kids) approach. Just not sure what yet……