grew up in a great family with money. made a bunch of foolish mistakes and always sought the easy way out of things, never willing to take the time to learn essential things (cooking, fixing things, and so on). got diagnosed as bipolar after a second dui. post 18 years old, half my times have been incredible and anyone would deem the “good life” and half my time has been miserable. now i am lonely, live in an area where i do not want to live because of my shitty job, and dont enjoy anything at all. i always carry on hope. everything seems too difficult. i cannot see into the future. nothing is bright. whats the purpose. even if things become great again, i hate the hard work involved. i am fucking pissed -at i dont even know what. i am too smart to listen to dumb people talk and communicate. but too lazy to go back to school or take on a profession. i am very sick in the mind and brain which sucks because i am perfectly healthy, very good looking, and have had a blessed upbringing. a lot of my anger and depression has to do with my inability to complete tasks and my lack of ability with certain things. its too tough to communicate. i read posts on all websites all the time and this is my first time posting. i wish i could elaborate better, but many of you can feel my depression and disappointment with life. wheres the energy supposed to come from to make more attempts at finding happiness, hell i don’t even know what the F i want. to me its not worth it to go out and party and bang girls and have stories, yadda yadda yadda. the system is flawed and the economy will get worse. wish i was 10 years old forever. im 25.
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I feel the same way about being depressed… I’m mad at everyone I know, but someone told me things would get better, so only reason is because of that saying… Maybe things will, then again maybe they won’t. Wait a while… If things don’t get better, do what you gotta do. For now, try for a better life man… Wishing you the best.
I really feel I can relate to your story. I grew up in an adoring family with money. But I feel so immature, I underachieve, and my whole life as a grown-up has been a failure.
I really wish I knew a way to help you, I used to have hope, but now I don’t, so I feel unable to guide others.
I guess I’d reccomend you find someone who still has hope for life and for humanity, to guide you.
thanks for the comments. i am not going to be hurting myself for the foreseeable future but the disguist with myself on a day to day basis is aggravating as fuck. used to have so much, now have so little, even to hang on to.
Although I wish to end my own life I hope you will reconsider. I have a son almost your age and see the same things happening to him. I also have a similar story as yours with DUI’s and total misery with work and too much negative. I committed suicide successfully 25 years ago. I was 22. I took a large amount of Elavil and my heart and lungs stopped but was found too soon, revived and in a coma for sometime on life support with collapsed lungs, waking from a coma on a breathing machine. A huge metal tube shoved down my throat which they occasionally had to remove to put in medicine or something. All I know is when they took the tube out it was impossible to take a breath and was not a fun, happy time. There was a tube plunged into my chest to help re-inflate my lungs or something, a chest tube. I still have the scar. After I was released I moved to a bigger city, My life changed. I had 2 more children, became a lesbian and things were really very good for about 20 years. Good job, I bought my dream house, happy children, animals…lalala. My children are having children but I have lost everything due to my health and economy. I cannot stand my life and do not want to be a burden to my children but also fear my children thinking it is okay to kill yourself when things aren’t going good. Strangely, 10 years ago my mother committed suicide from an elavil overdose and was never told of my suicide attempt. I can understand why she did and was not really sad or upset, believing she was done with having to deal with her misery. . i cannot stand this much longer.
Think the death bag with helium tank would be the way to go. Be sure it is what you want to do. You may have another 20 years of happiness just after a little more BS. My Dad use to tell me when things got to rough and I couldn’t stand it to get on a bus and start all over somewhere else. I couldn’t see it possible so tried to kill myself instead. Same things now but worse…no money, cannot work, lost or sold everything of value. Gave my children everything as far as heirlooms, pictures, mementos. I can’t pay rent and can’t afford to move. Too cold to catch a bus but if I sell my electronics I can get a helium tank. One more thing. When I was 22 the day I had decided to kill myself I went to see the few people in my life I really loved. I didn’t say goodbye or let them know in anyway I was planning on ending it but it was truly a great day. Once I made the decision nothing really mattered anymore….No money, no courts, no work, no family. I was free!!! The problems would no longer exist after that day. A month later, after leaving the hospital I still had many of the same problems but I did move away and started again. I am just too tired to do that today
I am 26. I feel your pain tiger. In my case, I am the good son. I am the perfect son. Perfect scores, SO GOOD all the time. I have a Bachelor’s. I have a Master’s, and will soon have a PhD. However, I have let myself commit a huge mistake which shames me. and my ruin my bright future. You know, it hurts that I might lose what I worked so hard for!. We need to be strong, and realize that we are not perfect and make mistakes. Just try your best. Forgive don’t hate.