The Mask

I’m great, fine, spectacular.
In a way, I relish every night,
And live everyday,
I live, I laugh,
I write, I sing,
I wonder what the new days will bring.

Then, I get home,
And take off the mask,
The day, and the almost impossible task, finally over,
So, I lie down,
And wait patiently for the day I die.

I cry, I scream, I bawl, and sleep,
Even though I have promises to keep,
I wait, and wonder, and cry some more,
and I ache, and burn from my very core.

Then, I’m not alone,
And the mask reappears:
Out goes grief, pain, and all of the tears,
As I am a happy person,
Cheerful all the day,
A world full of rainbow,
Not one shade of grey.

Of course, I am not okay,
I am not fine,
No matter how much I seem to shine,
I don’t even know why I feel this…
Why my exsitence is one long, endless abyss.

But it is, and will be,
So I cling to life,
As one day, I might slip,
And end it with a knife,
But, I am still here,
No matter what my dreams might say,
And I hope one day,
I will actually be okay.