I have fucked so much shit up. I deserve to die. My parents fight because of me….my dad gave me a black eye today. My mom tried to to stop him from wailing on me…..and it was my fault. Why couldn’t I just shut my damn mouth? Even though i was in the right, why couldn’t i just swallow my pride, shut my damn mouth, and say i was wrong?
I want to cut so bad. I just want to feel something other than this pain inside. This sense of worthlessness, and being completely alone. Here Is my advice to you ( I don’t even know if anyone is reading this because I sure the heck wouldn’t) If you’re going to commit suicide, then do it right the first time.
And here’s a question: How do you get through the day?
Sorry, I know i’m a bother but i’ve got no where else to turn…..
7 comments
It’s a shame that anyone ever feels the need to be quiet and keep from stating their opinion, but sometimes that is the easiest way to smooth over a situation :\ Also, no matter how much you want to tell yourself that, it really isn’t your fault, and I know you probably won’t listen because I never do, but just because something bad happened doesn’t mean someone has to be blamed, and usually the person who blames themselves is not the one at fault.
You’re definitely not a bother 🙂
I get through the day by remembering the list of reasons me and my ex came up with to stay alive…some of those include music, friends, and saving baby pandas. Or, if that doesn’t work, I turn my music up so loud I can’t hear anything, sing as loud as I can and find something to do to keep my hands occupied, or go running or something like that.
Thanks Lily, that comment really meant alot. And even for a second there I didn’t feel so alone
You’re welcome, any time. Seriously, any time you just need to rant or share something, doesn’t even have to be like, relevant. Comment on one of my posts or email me or something ( runawaylove 74 @ yahoo. com) 🙂
you’re not a bother at all, i used to cut but i don’t anymore, but im going through S.A.R.A.H so yeah . never think you’re causing pain to someone’s life.
i get through the day by smiling and the little things, try it.
please don’t commit suicide.
Just curious whats S.A.R.A.H? Congrats on not self injuring!!! I’ve stopped before but as you can see it’s quite the struggle to not do it for long periods of time
Nice post Lily. Very thoughtful.
And agree, your not a bother anime. Sometimes we gotta try go thru life with some tact and say things carefully or even not at all. If “other” people are sensitive to the truth, it takes skill on how best to approach it. People are funny creatures.
I’ve read a few of your posts anime & lily, if either of you want to say hi/chat, please feel free. Always happy to meet new decent pple. Just add my handle name here to 389@gmail.com or 389@hotmail.com for msn.
Take care
ps nice post too Over..
How I get through the day? Drinking and opiates. Driving around randomly, not that I can afford to waste gas, but it does help. Oh. and my cat. He barks, and rolls over. He’s not the brightest animal I have ever seen, but he sure makes me happy.