Some may know me. Some may not. Or actually many don’t. How many others are minors that want to end it all? How many can’t get rid of tue depression? Don’t answer the question, it’s rhetorical. Answer the first question though.
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I don’t have much to say as I really don’t want to think insane thoughts and what not. Jamiejajamie I miss you.
Mr_Sebastior: hello I see you aren’t dead yet and hopeful you read my message.
To those of you that don’t know me… I am RogueShadow1281, or my real name is Nathan, but I prefer Rogue to anyone online. I haven’t gotten diagnosed for anything as my dad is no help and mom is financially deficient, or “barely” coming by. My parents were somewhat strict rape especially with religion. Now I am completely atheist maybe a bit agnostic as I was born going to shitchurch. Don’t refer to god to me as it’s a really good way of pissing me off. I want to off myself but don’t deserve death no matter how much I desire it. Yet I have no motivation to change my lifestyle so I may never kill myself or pull myself out of this pit. *sigh* I hate life so much like many SPers. If you are so in need of death then why not jump off a building instead of some impractical method liking trying to get your hands on a weapon or hanging or cutting. Why not take the more practical approach. You endured so much but won’t take that “emotionless, insane” sense of being and just jump off a high building… I understand you are afraid, but if you are more afraid of waking up after an attempt, be more practical. And I just ranted… Well I’m going to find something to do… Text me at (805) 861-5295 if you wanna text me it’s on my deactivated iPhone textnow app as I don’t like using my cellphone…
Sadly this is on the I will Survive list/category…
8 comments
I think I’m going to choke myself. I can’t cope with this shut unless I want to drink it up… Maybe I should ask my drunk stepdad to buy me a 40oz. Of mickeys and I painstakingly chug that poison down. Maybe I can drown my sorrows with it.
For someone like me who doesn’t live near any high buildings its extremely tough. The bridges aren’t high enough either! I look down and all I can see is me waking up crippled in a hospital bed because I was too desperate and didn’t think things through. It’s better for me to plan accurately than take the risk of ending up in a shittier situation. Oh and I am a minor
Awesome and yeah there are of course a few exceptions as some don’t have high enough buildings. Good thing though that I can’t choke properly due to the fear of the dark or fear of demons thanks to fucking religion.
what’s up man, i missed you
what message?
I have no guts to jump of a building.
You have a good point RogueShadow.
Will have to take that into consideration.
May just go today if I can get the guts.
http://www.oddee.com/item_96967.aspx
And other articles keep me fearing a jump.
I know the physics work differently than jumping off a building but knowing my luck i’d be the one who survives as a paraplegic. Being a vegetable would not be bad as long as I truly was brain dead.
i used to have the guts. and i attempted suicide many times. but for some reason, i never died. it did however lead to forced family therapy where we were able to forgive each other and my parents now understand more why i am depressed.
now when i feel suicidal, i cry and become frustrated because i cant find the strength to stab myself deep enough or the courage to actually slit my veins properly. and i know that overdosing on my anti depressants and bi polar meds will only lead to my stomach being pumped or throwing it all up.
sometimes i wish dieing was easier. i also have fear of a “hell”. like, why do i want to kill myself when the possibility of landing in something way worse is there.
i go through this thought process all the time. thankfully its distracting enough that when im done thinking about it– the desire and feeling of killing myself has left and i see things a little clearer.
we are strong when we hold on, even just for another day. <3
Yeah but does that mean we are already stong enough having been going through many days already leaning over the edge hoping to lose control and fall?
I wasn’t expecting you Mr_Sebastior to read that as I was expecting you not to go through till my message and read it