I’m wondering…

  December 10th, 2011 by Bobbi

I helped a guy one time who had cancer. I gave him a ride to the cancer treatment center. He didn’t want my help after that day because I smoke cigarettes and he detested the smell, even though I never smoked the whole time we were together. (That’s beside the point though). He told me he was pronounced clinically dead once. He was much younger at the time of the experience. But what he experienced was nothing. He was convinced that nothing existed once a person passes into the threshold. Nothing! Can you imagine nothingness? What if he is right? Do I want nothingness?

I experienced near death situations with my illness. Nothingness to me is an impossibility. Yet, people experience this. For me, I had awareness. I can believe that something spiritual was taking place in my mind and in my life at the time of my near passing. Being near death is like being high, at least to me. It’s a trip I don’t want to take…at least not until the time is right. I never crossed over though. I don’t know what is on the other side. I have hope that something better is beyond this realm…this existence as I know it. But who can be certain? I can’t even begin to compare what I have now to what is beyond this life. Because I simply don’t know! But the way I feel now, I don’t want to give up. I’ve worked hard in my lifetime trying to be the best that I can and sometimes I still wonder what the point is! But I’d rather have this than nothing. I know. It seems warped. The guy could have been right. I don’t want to end in nothingness.

Any thoughts on what’s beyond?

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