Today is my birthday (its the 8th dec here in Australia) and here I am feeling like crap. The past 2yrs ive considered suicide, looked at different ways of doing it, some are obvious choices, others arent, as i fear the pain. There are several reasons why Id wanna end my life – i was born with several medical probs, which im stuck with for good, im not exactly that smart, intelligent, common sensed, or good lookin, ive been unemployed for too long, trying to find work has been a mission, specially because im low on confidence, never had luck with girls, ive had g/fs in the past but got cheated on etc, n at the end of the day, i really jus dont see a point in me bein around.
There hasnt been a day thats gone by the last few yrs where i havent thought bout endin my life, stupidly now ive come 2 the conclusion that i would end my life in july 2014, as i will be 27, n my fav singer, jim morrison died at that age, on 3rd july, we also share the same birthday. Stupid i know, but thats how i feel.
I have gotten help, from physcologists etc, n they have jus said its a case of low self esteem, but i dont know if its anythin more than that. All i know is, when i do feel down, i know i wouldnt have 2 worry bout everyday life wen i eventually end it. Whats holding me back, well the date n time i wanna go on, n giving myself 1 last shot to try n turn things around n feel positive n give everything 1 last red hot go. But at the end of the day i know i will eventually jus end it all, there n than…..
28 comments
Happy Birthday! My birthday was not too long ago. Im from Australia, where abouts are you from?
Thankyou very much 🙂 Im from NSW 🙂 Yourself? 🙂
Your welcome and sorry to hear that your not having a better day. I hate when its my birthday. Im from SA 🙂
Oh nice 🙂 Yeah earlier this wk i wasnt lookin forward to it, ive become negative bout my birthday, not really worryin bout it all, n not really caring whether i get gifts or not, shame really, but its jus how it is.
Ive seen a few of your posts, how u been holding up? 🙂
Im not doin that great. Are you new here? How old are you?
Happy birthday. Mine on Xmas eve. Every year overshadowed by some dude who died on a cross a hundreds of years ago. Benny let me know if yr in Sydney town
@ crying on the inside…. yeah im new here, was searchin on google at ways 2 hang myself etc etc, n came across this, i sorta thought it wuld b a gud place 2 vent off n get crap off my chest. Sorry 2 hear that ur not doin that well, wat have u been doin/thinkin of lately?
@ One_Day….. Many thanks 🙂 i liv near sydney yeah 🙂
I’m outta town this week but if u ever want to grab a coffee and vent face to face just let me know. Sometimes this Internet venting just don’t do the trick
Yeah i agree man, even venting to shrinks doesnt always do the trick, many thanks for the offer, i shall let you know 🙂
Noone ever lives near me 🙁
Awwww 🙁 dw i ave the same problem, i ave 1 close mate, who ive gne 2 school with, but hes got his own life, we still chat everyday n play cricket 2getha on sat’ but apart from that, we will end up drifting apart n ill ave few ppl 2 hang with
oh n btw im 25 🙂
Im 23 and female. I dont really have any friends these days. Nice to meet you but shame its not under nicer circumstances.
Crying, aww… I get around a bit and I will let u know if I end up down yr way. I was planning a cross country hitch next year Syd melb Adelaide Perth, depends on how next year pans out
I agree 🙁 I spend most of my wknds at home nowadays, xcept wen i ave cricket on a saturday, apart from that, its home, gym, or wateva, lookin for jobs, its jus crap, most of the social interaction i ave is thro the net, i do get out n try 2 meet new peeps but so hard coz i dnt feel accepted, or not fit for society, like im the odd 1 out
Always ere if u need 2 vent on here, or wateva, ive been thro alot the last few yrs, so i noe where ur commin from 🙁
Thanks guys you both sound like great people.
Ur welcome 🙂
So u mainly feel glum n crappy coz there rnt many ppl around, or friends, there rnt any other probs? 🙂
@one_day….thanks very much, ill def keep it in mind 🙂
Nah that doesnt really bother me that much i still have have my family but i have a few other issues.
oh that sucks, i ave other issues 2, , bit complicated etc
do u use msn at all or? 🙂
No sorry buddy i dont use msn
all good 🙂
how long ave u felt the way u do??? 🙁
Pretty much all my life, you?
yeah pretty much most of my life, i used 2 say id kill myself wen i was in school, but nowadays, its a whole diffa ballgame, 2yrs its been goin on, days where i feel ok n motivated n wateva, other days 60% of the time, i feel crappy bout myself ya noe, i nearly ended it all last yr, looked at suffocation etc, id drive along the freeway and look for bridges or stuff that were high enuf for fatal impact
Omg im such a dumbass i just realised that i said im 23 when im not anymore im 24 now i turned 24 in november. Im just so used to saying 23 whoops!
Happy B-Day to ye both crying on the inside nd BennyAus Suks to hear that on yer bdays that ye on the site
BennyAus
Hopefully something changes and either eliminates or lessens your down times.
You have given yourself two and a half years so many things can happen in that time.
A lot of psychs care more about the diagnosis than healing the person.
And maybe you and one_day can develop a friendship which helps you both.
Good luck fellas.
Thanks Procel 🙂
@cryin on the inside…… dw i get clumsy n 4getful 2 hahaha, hope ur feelin a bit better
Hey buddy nah not really feeling any better i always just feel the same and sometimes worse. Hope your okay 🙂
heya, sorry for my late reply 🙂
that sucks ur not feelin much better, , hope ur able 2 turn things around soon 🙂
im feelin OK atm, bit more content, i have my days, where i worry 4 no reason or somethin
ill keep in touch 🙂