I am so lonely, lost, and miserable. I look at what my future holds and I see and feel nothing. I dont understand the purpose of my life. Even simple tasks seem unbearable. Taking a shower, getting out of bed, eating, and going to work seem like horrible unreachable tasks. I could lierally sleep 18 hours a day and the hours i am awake are exhausting. My family and friends have no idea the severity of my situation. I dont/cant let them know. I just want to disappear from everyone and never be heard from again. I am lost and at this point beyond being found.
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The first thought that popped into my head was the lyrics from “Amazing Grace”. I have been lost and now am found. But who do you think found me? Well me of course.
I have suffered from a severe depressive disorder for most of the 50 years I have been here. I remember trying to imagine how hell could be anyworse than what i was already feeling. Now I know that heaven and hell are just constructs of the mind. No way to get away from the person I hated most of all. Myself. I have had 7 NDE’s and now know that avoidance whether in the form of suicide or apathy is not the answer. At first this made me madder than hell.
Try looking for a different way to think about yourself, your purpose, and your reality. What kinds of music are you listening to? What kind of situations are you putting yourself in? Are you trying to beat the depression or just giving in to it?
Try looking at alternatives. A very wise soul reccommended John Bradshaw’s Homecoming. The videos are available on youtube. I personally found my way back by reading “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. Your answers are out there somewhere but you won’t find them until you start looking.
I wish you all the best….you are worth the effort….do the work
Just curious….how old are you? How long has this depression lasted?
There is hope…..I now feel joy again….something I thought I had lost is now found.
Just saying….
Namaste
Thank you for your response. I am 33 years old and have been struggling with Depression since around the age of 15. I just cant seem to find my place in this world. Everything seems off, like I am out of sync with everything around me. I take Prozac and that seemed to help fir a while. I have been on other cocktails as well. I am in therapy, so I am doing the right things, i am just not getting better. I am starting to give into the depression and am growing weaker everyday. I need an intervention and just dont know what it would be.
Try anything and everything just don’t give up and give in. Try the Bradshaw videos, they may help explain how you got to where you are. Never, ever give up. Failing is not an option. You are here for a reason. If you give in to your despair you will create a hellish situation for yourself that can’t be escaped even in death.
Just had a thought…..they happen occassionally….lol
Something someone sent me when I was at the bottom. Give it a shot. If nothing else the scenery is amazing. http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com what have you got to lose but outdated unneccessary thinking…
just saying…..
only takes a moment let me know what you think Amakua2309@hotmail.ca