Shiny Happy People

You are not the burden in your family, you are the centre of it. Without you those two beings you always love and sometimes punish will wither and die. Yes, it’s easy to tell people to tell their families and then funk it yourself. I would never dream of telling my parents because they are of a generation that regards suicide as not only self-murder, but as the murder of a family. You have great empathy skills – you know all this already. Sometimes you have to stay alive for other people. But there’s a consolation in that – when you get through to the other side of it, you find that denying yourself for the sake of loved ones has given you another chance.

One thing you need to learn is patience. Your chances will come – there is no doubt about that. It is how you deal with them that counts; the biggest challenge of all is seperating the fake from the genuine – that takes study and wisdom and clear thinking. 20 is your training ground; your dry run; your practice shot. You should be bringing every piece of your personality to bear on everything to see and hear and read and feel – is this for me? Is this useful for me? How can I help myself with this? How can I help the people I love with this? It is helpful to think of your whole life as an awakening process – becoming alert to the possibilities of everything over a period of time which you can only regard as extended grace. Life is a skill not a gift – it has to be learned. And when the real chances arrive – you will know them for what they are – because you trained yourself to be alert to them. Life comes for everyone, just as death does.

I am also someone whose mood is deeply affected by the seasons. I don’t mind December, but I have a hard time getting through the cold, bleak months of January and February. The thing to remember about Christmas, and New Year, and Easter, etc, is that they are celebrations for other people, or, if you prefer, celebrations for yourself at other times in your life. I quite like Christmas – but I didn’t until I started my first job, a job I hated so much that the few days I had off at Christmas were almost a miracle – so what I hated at 20 I absolutely welcomed at 30. I know an old/young time traveller like you has access to all this forbidden knowledge – she just hasn’t opened the package yet.

I can’t tell you very much about money – poverty has been my downfall. But that’s because I didn’t find out until I was about 35 just how important money is, and how much damage it, or the lack ot it, can do. I will add one thing though – most people are stupid, but they seem to do quite well. Therefore the secret of remaining comfortable must be easily learned – it’s just that you are speaking to someone who never learned it.

I hope you have a better night tonight. Oh, I read your comment on the other thread – anything you need to know, just say and I’ll do my best to answer.

Yes, I took it from the Giant’s Causeway, though also because of it’s ‘crossing’ qualities, as I was planning to cross to the other side if you see what I mean (which gives you some idea of my mordant humour).

You don’t need to think up replies for me, that’s not a problem, and there are people posting here in more immediate need of help than I am, and probably more deserving of your attention. I feel guilty – there are so many new posts here every day, and so many seem to be from a very dark place, and I don’t know what to say.

haha, you probly won’t like this but I’m Gemini.