Had therapy, extensively. no hope

The world would not be better off without you in it. Everyone has a part to play. It doesn’t matter to the world that you’re a drug addict. It’s not keeping score to punish you. The world was already f*cked up before you were born, by people who’ve done far worse than you will ever do. It’s not like you’re some kind of burden on the world, increasing its quota of f*cked-upness, like by being in it you’re somehow holding the world back. No. The world is fine and can take care of itself. It’s a whole planet.

You’re just you, and the best way you can help the world is by still being in it. With drink and drugs, the only things you’ve harmed are yourself anyway, so if you kill yourself, you would only be punishing yourself even more, not punishing the world. That wouldn’t make sense.

My social life is also completely dead from years of neglect. But even if the things in your life are f*cked, it doesn’t mean your life itself is f*cked. If you have a farm, and all your crops have withered and your farm is a barren wasteland, then you don’t need to set fire to the whole farm. The plants may be dead but the potential is still there. It might take years, but you can replant some seeds and watch as the farm slowly regrows. Or, if the electricity and plumbing stops working in your house and the floorboards are rotten, you don’t call in the house demolition people. You call an electrician and a plumber and a carpenter. Because no matter how f*cked up the house might look to you, it’s still worth a house.

If you go now, you will deny yourself the opportunity to see what tasty stuff your farm could grow.