School is almost the day after tomorrow. I haven’t finished my homework and I am stressing.
Yesterday I fell into a random little depressed state where I couldn’t sleep or speak to anyone. This morning my sister went to the family counselor about her cycling coach who ended up being a perverted pedophile. She’s now pressing charges. While they were gone I was lying in bed thinking. I was thinking about what would happen if I overdosed while they were out or if I cut my wrists and didn’t stop bleeding until I was dead. The urge was the greatest it had been in a while.
I don’t want to go back to school and have to pretend I like talking to the people I don’t. I can’t pretend anymore. I just want to sit alone all the time. I am done with seeing people be happy all the time when I can’t be.
8 comments
School can definitely be a stressing thing. Homework, tests, grades, etc. (Assuming college btw) I know you pay for classes and that’s just incentive not to waste it. But really sometimes, it isn’t the time for school for you. I mean depends on who you are and your situation, but no point in going to school at a certain time if you can’t bring yourself to do any of the work and just waste time and money. Thing is, need to find some motivation – somewhere, anywhere. Or find an alternative of school that still works for you.
If not college – still, be best to find that motivation. You may find yourself in a worse situation for not doing the school work…adding onto the drama and problems. For the majority of people, school does not equal fun – that’s a given. But people go through it with at least some sort of goal to keep them going, so try to think of one…I can recall myself desperately trying to find a way out of school, but really it caused way more problems and drama than it was worth to simply sit through school and at least half-try to pass. As for people, why must you pretend? Do you think people will think odd you do not want to converse? I suppose, though I’ve seen people here suggest to just go through the day looking how you feel, no mask. I’m not sure for advice on that…sorry.
Bah, random depressed states…know those well. Hope you can get some sleep now. Sorry to hear about the sister. BUT, what conclusion did you come to when you thought about it??? Feel free to explain more your problems so if not I, someone else could better give advice. Glad you didn’t decide to do something like that so rashly. Really I think suicide is something to think long and hard about, and to be made in a spur of the moment mood.
I hope you can find some happiness somewhere in life, there’s still more to it(life). Don’t let those happy people get you down, use them as motivation or inspiration of sorts maybe? Whatever you choose to do, I wish for some happiness.
Sorry for the long comment, hope somewhat helped(or at least didnt make it worse) – I could relate with you. Good luck
Try and get an extension on your homework by asking your tutor. Support your sister during this difficult time and it will strengthen your bond.
Don’t worry about what others at school think. It is what you think that’s important. I’ve experienced some really bad stuff but I’m still here because my family would not be able to cope. Be a cool dude like me and no matter what life throws at you smile and say is that all you’ve got. I don’t pretend to like people either because they’re mostly jerks. The tables will turn be strong now. Believe me I’ve been through the worst. Stuff I can’t even talk about.
Hi
Did anyone get my email?
Can somebody send me one back so I can see whether my iPhone picks it up.
Hey Duke,
I did send a short e-mail…quite a while ago….let me know
Amakua
Hi Amakua
Now my batteries gone dead.
Im using my works computer.
I will have to but a new computer when i get paid at the end of next month. I’m in the poor house after bailing my mum out again.
Now all of my comments are awaiting moderation???
“Here we qo aqain,riqht now me and you,we could,we can roll”
I think thats how It qoers haha.