I have been cutting for about three months now. I cut my wrists, legs and stomach. I have been very good at hiding them, at least I thinks so, but now I have a problem. I’m sick therefore not going to school and left alone at home for the day. My mom’s friend is a doctor and my mom asked her to come over and check upon me, find out why I’m sick and how to recover. I’m so scared that the doctor is going to make me undress, because I’ve been to doctors loads of times before I started self harming and many times […]
So I got this worksheet thrust at me today (and she even compared it to school homework) about “my intended change.” Â Hmm, somehow I think this is going to be harder than writing an analysis of some uncommon piece of Victorian literature. Â And far less interesting. Â Thing is, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to do this on my own. Â What else is new.
My intended change: Â I told her pointlessness. Â Also in the running were boredom and loneliness.
My main goals for myself in making this change: Â Um… I don’t know. Â To make life not suck?
I plan to do these things…
Other people could help me with […]
I promisedÂ myselfÂ I would kill myself before I finish high school (I’m in 9th grade) but I keep onÂ postponing it…sometimes I wish I had enough courage to do it but I don’t want to die alone…I hate it when someone asks me why I want to kill myself… I can’t describe my feelings with words someone would have to feel what I feel to understand…everyday is aÂ struggle to keep myself together , sometimes I feel so alone and unwanted…everyday I wake up I just want to crawl in a hole and die…
I also feel so stressed out when I go to school and it doesn’t make […]
Lately I’ve been feeling really sad. I cut myself yesterday and regret it :c idkkkk man.
I feel so alone, and my moms been bringing me down again. She calls me low life and lazy, and asks me when I’m gonna get a job, and what am I gonna study and all this shit. I’m 17 years old, and still young, fuck idk what I want to do or be yet, it’s going to take a long time for me to figure it out. I want to travel and meet people and see things form different perspectives. Why does life have to be so fucking rushed. […]
I want to die, i hate my life my family is terrible my brother is crazy ,a thief and a horrible person, his purpose in life is to annoy people, and my sister makes me feel bad about everything you come home happy she opens her mouth you want to kill yourself, school is awful, the only reason i am going is because my parents abuse me and i can’t say no to them also my father won’t give me a dime so i have to go to sell people answers to tests, homework and exams so i can get enough change to combine into […]
Hello! I’m writing this in order to get some help, and be sure that i’ve made the right decision.
I wrote this to another person on another website:Â <<<Â I feel the same as you do/did “Every day I wake up feeling terrible! I don’t want to die,i just don’t want to live like this.” and i felt it since i was your age 17/18 and then i was dreaming about killing myself but i talked to others and i was to weak to take my own life so i said that i’ll wait, that things will get better, two years have passed and i had a big […]
everything im freaking out about right now – clothes, pimples, classes, homework, friends, boys, cutting, – it all seems so huge and like its all that matters.
but then i think about the future. in 10 years its wont matter who dated who for how long and who had a fight with who. it wont matter.
it wont mean anything.
but i want it to matter.
so im making myself a promise.
im going to stop thinking about the future and how things will be in a month, a year, a decade.
thinking about it now will not effect the outcome of my entire life. so the only thing i will […]
I had a whole long thing written here about how being an introvert sucks and havingÂ what I guess you could callÂ social anxiety has turned me into a social pariah, but it didn’t exactly flow well because I just sort of dumped all of my thoughts onto the page, so I deleted it. Anyway, looks like I wasted another half hour and I still have a lot of homework to finish for tomorrow. Well, technically it’s now due later today. I guess I won’t be getting much, if any, sleep tonight. Life is a *****.
I feel like my entire life has just been one mistake after another. I’m fat, I haveÂ awfulÂ grades in school, I hurt my spine trying to lift weights to get less fat, I can’t do manual labor, it looks like I might not get my high school diploma.
I’m just so tired. So, so tired. I’m so tired of making mistakes and being a waste of space. I can’t work to help pay for college because of my spine. I hurt my spine trying to get less fat. I’m fat period. I’m so lazy I can’t even get good grades in school because I never do my […]
I’m 13 years old. I would tell you my name, but being new here, I don’t know if I can trust you all to that extent yet. Normally, I post poems that reflect how I feel at the moment, or how I felt throughout the day, but right now I’d like to get a few things off my chest. I’ve told a few of my friends some of this before, but no one knows all of it at its worst. I feel as though I can trust all of you with at least this, even if I don’t know you. So here it goes.
Many of us on here have experienced a tremendous amount of tragedy and loss in our lives unfortunately. I wanted to share with you what I went through, and how it changed my life.
It all started on January 15, 2011. That morning, my parents had taken my 9-year-old cat Tiger to the vet. During the past few days, we noticed that he had become more distant from us, and began to suffer weight loss and smell odd. He also was found in places we normally didn’t find him, mainly my parents’ bathroom. However, being the foolish optimist that I was at the time, I […]
I’ve come around because everything has become too much. All I do is work all day to save meager wages that will do me no good. I come home tired to start my homework so that maybe I can earn a bit more cash someday. That’s my life: nowhere else to go, nothing else to do, no other purpose.
No, life isn’t about being adored, but all day, every day, everyone I come across looks down their noses at me and thinks I’m dumb, weird- just an all around loser. Even my mom. Each day ends and I cry because they’re right, they know me immediately. […]
It really surprises me how my mood can go from being OK (I wasn’t entirely happy) to Â me feeling like utter scum. I started talking more in lunch and fifth period and I usually don’t talk so whenever I do I feel like people just look at me like “why do you even open?” because of the looks they give me, but that doesn’t bother me that much compared to talking to the people you like because it feels like “am I annoying to you?” Â I don’t know maybe school’s just another trigger for me but I feel like “look at all these people probably […]
The attacks from my own mind happen all the time:
Before I go to bed
When I do my homework
When I see my friends, all talking, no awkward scilence, looking so happy without me.
Now they have migrated to the classroom.
In biology (my class has 9 people) they happen.
I feel useless,
Agony beyond belief.
I feel as if I am drowning, and there is no light, no better day tomorrow.
The sun won’t come out tomorrow, the pain will never leave,
I will forever be a burden.
I go to the back of the lab stations, and I curl up in […]
I remember when i was what society called happy, like, genuinely happy. a time when I didn’t feel like the world was blurred, like I was just a ghost. I felt, normal i guess. I was nine. that was it. nine years old. and then i just…faded.
I recall how I’d walk into the doors, I’d hear everyone talking, everyone would be with their friends. And me? I’d struggle just to convince someone that they could talk to me. I wasn’t well liked for God knows why. I guess people just needed an outlet to put all their hate, sadness, anger, and shit in. They chose […]
I miss being a little kid the world was so pretty and I loved life. Now things are not what I expected to be like. I often wonder if I could of fixed it. My life just shattered. MyÂ counselorÂ thinks my depression is caused by my past. Maybe it was I’m not sure but I just I want to feel good again not feel so disconnected all the time. I have really bad social anxiety I have no friends I’m alone. I think I like being alone I pushed all of Â them away. Yet sometimes I wish I had someone who just understand me. I am […]
I am a 13 year old girl, i don’t really want to die but i am really not happy.
I don’t want to die is because i feel i have still to much to in life and don’t have enough time.
I am in the 2 year of highschool and i do a really hard school and i a about 4 hours busy with homework every day, my parents think it is to hard for me but i REALLY don’t want to go to another school because i always feel like a have to work as hard as posible because if i didn’t i will […]
For years I’ve been miserable. At night in high school I would lock my door at night before I went to bed. I would stay up until 3 or 4, or sometimes not go to bed at all. I’d cry and listen to music like a lot of insecure guys would like me. just made me feel worse and worse. Somewhere around 2, i’d finish my homework. And then get up at 630. High school=tiring.
College was better, but not much better. I started taking adderall since I took some and felt okay with myself for the first time of my life. Something like loving myself. […]
There really is. I like someone sooo much i wish he was with me all the time. He is sooo funny. I like him for his personality. He signed up for the same subject as i did (i think). He doesnt know me at all. I heard things about him. Like he likes football, he is sooo funny, he has soo much homework, and he runs for track team. I wish i could introduce myself to him but he is always playing kickball at reecess and he is not in the same grade. I am also afriad that if i do introduce myself […]
I’m 23 years old.
In two week I’m getting kicked out of college. I allowed my depression to take over my life to the point where I couldn’t get out of bed for class, I would sleep for days and not do my homework. Now, after months on probation, I’m actually getting kicked out.
I have no where to go. I can’t bear the thought of telling my family that I was so stupid I got kicked out.
My entire identity and life is tied up in going to school (for math). This is all I’ve ever envisioned in my life. I don’t know what else to do […]