I should be doing my Change Over Time Essay, and my spanish homework, and annotating something from Lord of the Flies, and a theme chart for Atonement, and studying for my polyatomic ion test tommorow, and my genre maps, and starting a rough draft for my personal project #3 catagory, and acting like a good big sister, and I definitly shouldn’t be making my friend feel sad and frustrated…and I shouldn’t be wasting time writing here when I should be doing all that. Oddly enough I feel like going into IKEA and just staying there, day after day, never getting smarter, no school, no parents, no step dads that insult you every day because your not a favorite, no people, no worries, no wondering what I’ll end up as in ten years. Complete security. Then again I could do that in a mental hospital, maybe. But IKEA sounds funner, and nicer.
Today just walking through the halls was difficult, and coming home was worse. I just realized that calling my sister an idiot deserves something right back in my face,”she’s getting better grades than you were at that age”, from my step father, unless you know me, you probably haven’t guessed what a school nut I am, and when my intelligence is questioned, it hurts like hell. Oh well. I also figured out the reason I don’t show affection to my sister is because I consider it wrong, due to my step-sister genuinly fucking up my life and childhood. I think of her whenever my little sister wants me to hug her…it’s just wrong for two siblings to be that close..I think.
Doesn’t help your self esteem when your mother gets pissed off and gives you the silent treatment because you accidentally dent her old(but in grea condition) name brand italian or whatever high heels. I wonder what everyone has to hear when they type these things. Right now I’m listening to my parents fight, and my sister wine and….yep cry. I don’t have anything else I’m comfortable ranting about for now, sooo bye.
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Good Morning,
Sounds to me like you are feeling overwhelmed and for good reason. Would like to understand more….are you new here?…I am….will be in and out most of the day….would love to talk more to you….let me know.
Namaste
Amakua
My head hurts. I read your list of things to do, and I’m overwhelmed.
As for having times when you don’t want to do shit….that’s pretty normal.
However, you are in the “learning stage” of life and that comes with a lot of work, cramming information into your skull. That too is normal, and can seem overwhelming.
The things are home are not so easy. Home is supposed to be tour refuge, your place of safety and comfort. It doesn’t sound like that’s the case.
Do I have solutions? Answers? Quick fixes? No. But I have empathy.
Hug your little sister. Show others what joy it brings and what their missing out on. Show them you are better than them and you are a caring person to those who deserve it.
Ikea? The furniture store? Why on earth would you want to spend your life looking at over priced furniture. Silly girl.
It sounds like you know what to do but are having trouble focusing. As master today would say ‘search your feelings’. Enjoy your work and show everyone just how good you really are. You can make light work of it I’m sure. Relax, concentrate on one thing at a time. Start of with the subject you like the most and get into a fluent rhythm.
Today # meant to be Yoda. Predictive text! Arrrgh!
ikeA – a nice quiet place with lots of very comfy furniture and no one to nag and make demands – not a bad idea – not sure the sales staff will appreciate it though 😉
When you get an overwhelming list of things – try to focus only on the most immediate need and forget the rest until it their turn – you can’t do ten things at once so prioritize – i’m sure to some degree they are all important but there are always one or too that are the most time sensitive that you need to put all your attention on to … lay them all out on your desk and figure out which order to do them … if one takes a lot of time … break it into parts and do a portion at a time and do one of the others between parts to get you mind off it for a bit … people have a bad habit of thinking SO hard on one thing that they actually make it more difficult – when you get to that point – walk away and do something else for a while.
Your parent’s fight is their battle – try not to get to involved/concerned about it – you’re the kid – play your role (sometimes we forget that)
and yes – hug your sister – she’s dealing with the same stress you are without the benefit of your experience … it would be wrong if you were “playing kissy-face or gab-ass” – but hugging and touching is normal and healthy – if you think otherwise you might want to see a theripist to find out why you thin it’s “wrong’
You mother will ‘get over” the shoe thing – accidents happen – but you should at least apologize – after that it’s on her how she deals with it. Your stepdad is trying to “motivate” you in a not so smart way – ignore his lack of command of the language.
good luck
step by step dawg
Oh … and stop holding a grudge against your step sister … the past is the past … and grudges are toxic – forgive and forget, but don’t repeat the mistakes – live and learn.
you are clearly of high intelligence otherwise so much wouldn’t be expected of you – but even the best and smartest aren’t perfect – don’t be afraid to say ‘this is too much” or “i need more time” or ‘i need help” … recognizing our weakness and asking for help is actually a strength in our character.
procrastinator dawg
Amuka- Yeah I’m new, probably wont be on much today, it’s sunday and I’m writing a all my papers last minute, lol.
Titanium- I figured she’s the only innocent in the house so she does deserve the most I guess.
Duke- I love your pen-name, it’s cool. Lol if I lived there I would never check the price tags, but it’d be a good break. Yoda’s quotes are the best, I’m doing things more so by deadline than preference.
Dawg- I’m gonna be in IB, (do you know what that is?)and I’ll have to step it up.. yeah I only know one married couple that doesn’t fight, but they’re really religious and even then I’m sure they disagree, I have been to counseling but not for what happened with her.
Thanks y’all, Rach
hi rach – i guess I’m old and out of touch … no, I don’t know what “ib” is.
FYI – trust me, ALL couples fight/disagree – it’s HOW they fight that determines how other family members and outsiders perceive their relationship
antique dawg
it’s a hyped up program that’s acedimiclly rigorus and it has 20-something countries involved.
I guess they keep their voices down, and they have a 6 month old
still learning, Rach
Keep learning … life is a continuous learning process. as soon as we think we know it all and don’t need to learn any more, we find that the rest of the world starts leaving us behind.
be observant – it can be much easier to learn from the mistakes of others than to make the mistakes ourselves to learn the same lesson.
dawg
Yeah. I used to be like you. My brainpower was frequently called into question by teachers and my peers. It did not take them long to realise that it was in fact they who had questions to answer. Back then I was still sharpe enough to hurt them with my fierce verbal response. People always found my behaviour strange. In truth I was starting to find it difficult to concentrate properly. I used to confit myself with the assurance I was not blighted by mediocracy. As I got older I really started to find it difficult. It upset me that I couldn’t quite cut them down like I used to. Everything was always done with ease and style and for the first time I was in trouble. My memory and concentration fell apart. I was still however no forlorn hope as the underlying ability still came through. You know what they say loss of form is temporary but class is permanent. I tried everything to bring myself back. I have always known that this can only be achieved with medication and I have tried so many. They don’t always work like I want. Sometimes I spark but its just not the same. I had the best sense of humour, personality just the complete package. I’m still trying new things. Duloxetine is the latest.
You are as clever as a fox and quick as a greyhound. Armed with those skills you should not have any problems.
Confit= comfort
Dawg- Thanks, I try, but it’s easier said than done, lol.
Duke- It’s cool that you can relate, but I never have any comebacks, I just kind of bottle it up. I’m not on anything but I’m not sure if medictions are the answer to being yourself. But thank you anyway, it’s nice to have a spoken/typed opinion.