Hi,
I don’t come on here much-some of the replies I get actually make me feel worse. But its the only anonymous place I can express my feelings without fear of being locked up or talked down to(well,as I said earlier,some on here continue to,but its easier to ignore a post than a person LOL!!)
Anyway,I’ve almost made it to my trip to Australia,so yay me!! for hanging on. I am going solo, and plan to have an awesome time. After that,I’m going to give myself the ultimate reward.
I have absolutely nothing to come back to,and my life is going to be a thousand times bleaker upon returning. At least,for a few months,I had this trip to keep me going(although at times I didn’t think I would make it) but afterwards,I come back to it all,and its not going to get better.Hell,in 33 years it hasn’t…no matter what.
So instead of coming home and being an OFUD freak (old,fat,ugly,and diseased) working in a thankless job,being with someone who never wants to be around me,never wants to touch me,let alone marry me,having no friends,no real family,watching everyone around me be good enough to have the lives they want,and oh yeah, having NO car and NO way to fix mine/get another one ANYTIME soon…..
 I’m just going to go out on a high note,while I am having a good moment.Also,being 10,000 miles from home,no one can stop me. Hell, I can make myself anonymous to the Aussies even:)
  So,I’ll post more before and during my trip…but I feel a real sense of peace knowing that my time is near. Depression really is a cancer. Too bad people don’t work as hard to cure it .
3 comments
Keep us updated then alright? See you around my friend ^^
Hey Sunbird,
It’s good to hear from you. I have been following some of your posts from a couple of months ago and I found some current clinical research trials relating to your ‘disease’. You sound like a very smart and compassionate person so I hope this gives you hope.
http://www.lifescientist.com.au/article/376895/feature_dna_vaccine_vanguard/?
http://www.uniquest.com.au/news/uq-start-offers-hope-herpes-sufferers
Also, 33 is not old. This generation will have people who live til 100 or longer based on longevity and medical research. Age is just a number too. Don’t listen to those who say a woman needs to have their children before 40. I know women and have heard of women having children past 40 and their children are just as healthy. As for depression, many chemicals in your body can be changed over time through affecting your immune system. It might not completely overturn your depression but having a strong self-confidence substantially improves your immune system, as well as a healthy and active lifestyle. Working out at a gym or in your garage, like I do, can boost your confidence. Check out Aubrey de Grey’s videos also on longevity research, that guy is awesome. Take care.
Hi Sunbird, I was looking at my comments and I wanted to say that I hope I didn’t come across as rude and naive in my last post. I just wanted to share something that has helped me in my life. I hope you have an awesome week!