Do you see how you you have hurt me?

Do you see how you you have hurt me? I wonder when you are up there if it makes you laugh or if it makes you cry. Oh girl, when you were alive my world was an endless bliss, but now it seems so bleak and empty. Why did you die was it something I did i feel like a colourful canvas which has been washed clean to show complete darkness. I would rip the whole world apart just to spend one more minute in your embrace. Why did you kill yourself? You leave a note saying it is not my fault but then why do I feel so guilty? Is there something I could have done to stop this?!  I feel like we were a whole and without you I am a half. I cry myself to sleep because what you did. You have ruined me, made me this blank canvas. What made you have these…. suicidal tendencies? I want, no need to be taken away from this endless pain, but i can’t, so i will kill myself. Although i know there is no heaven, hell, rencarnation or that stuff, but one part in my heart has a glimmer of hope that I will see you again and my world will light up. If i see you again girl I will never let you go. Goodbye cruel world I hope i will see you all again! I am going to kill myself on March 14, your birthday. Again goodbye, Loverboy signing out.