Everytime I start to look up
Believe that I am fixable
Trust that I’m wanted for who I am and not what I can do for someone
The rug gets pulled shredded and cremated.
When you knowsomething for a fact beyond a shadowof a doubt
And it turns out to be false,
How can I trust anything?
When is it my turn to have someone in my life that sees positivity in me as I am.
Who will come to me void of ulterior motives
Then again I hate me too as I am.
I dopnt know how I destroyed myself so thoroughly
I can’t even hang myself Right
I am tired offailing
2 comments
Well, people don’t really come to you with ulterior motives. They just have their own personal motives and so do you. There’s usually a clash between them if your personalities are too different.
I find the problem is in myself mostly. I can’t have one positive thought because nothing in my life is positive. It’s like I’m locked in the negative and it’s constant.
I’m probably not fixable either so it feels pretty trivial to exist. It’s like I’m waiting for that straw that’s going to break the camel’s back.
@ otherside…I can relate to what you said about being locked in the negative. However it’s so automatic that you believe there’s no way out of that cycle. There is…as I have been through the process and continue.
Our thoughts are like magnets that attract like thoughts. So your life sucks and you don’t like it..that’s cool. You are not defined by the circumstances of your life. You are not a reflection of how well or not well things are going. We beat ourselves up about the whole deal and we draw so many negative conclusions that are in no way accurate about the innate beauty in all of us.
You can try an experiment for a month…give it a week. You have to practice it…like anything. Research law of attraction. You have to make a firm choice though, that you want to shift this. It’s the choice that is important. It will only happen when you intentionally want this. It does not happen on it’s own. I used to talk negatively all the time. And the difference in me now is night and day. Everything is good…it’s all good. I say that all the time. Even if you didn’t believe it at first…practice it and you will and your attitude will slowly shift. Your head has to stay in the game though…it’s not a magic bullet…commit. Best of luck.